DigiDorks
by DinoJake
Summary: Once upon a time, there were eight children who saved two worlds. This story...is not about them. This story is about a bunch of dumb kids from New York and their ugly pets. Rated M for naughty humor and lots of swearing.
1. EP1: DigiDorks! Digimon Liking Losers!

**WARNING:**

**The following fanfic is a parody of Digimon Adventure, 02, Tamers, Frontier, Savers, Digimon World, and the Digimon Franchise in general. It contains anime jokes, western cartoon jokes, video game jokes, music jokes, poop jokes, sex jokes, New Yorker jokes, black people jokes, Mexican jokes, Jew jokes, Muslim jokes, French jokes, Irish jokes, Chinese jokes, Japanese jokes, cheap pop culture jokes, and the excessive sucking of David Draiman's million dollar cock.**

**Oh, and swearing. This fanfic is going to have a fuck-load of swearing right out the tits.**

**This is in no way related to the Last Spartan, as this fanfic makes the Last Spartan look good. Seriously. 1,000+ reviews for some Halo / Mass Effect crossover by a guy who can't keep his past / present tenses straight? While fanfic masterpieces like "Time of Ending: the 40K Finale" don't even have 30 reviews to their name?**

**Shame on you. Shame on you for having shitty taste in fanfiction.**

**Bottom-line: this particular fanfic should not be taken too seriously. Enjoy.**

...

_Just Stop_

_Enough of the limitless critical comments_

_On My Life!_

_Just Drop_

_The judgement and all of your pseudo-involvement_

_In My Life!_

_Sit Back_

_A moment, and look at the miracle started_

_In Our Life!_

_Don't Stop_

_The moment, and let the incredible happen_

_Knowing that_

_All that you want,_

_Is to criticize something for nothing!_

_And all that I want,_

_Is forgiveness one more time_

_To be the BEST IN THE WOOOOORRRRLLLDDD!_

Jack had the complete _Ten Thousand Fists_ album blaring through his headphones as he lied in his bed, mostly because he had already listened to _Asylum _and _Indestructible _a lot lately and decided to blow the dust off an old favorite.

But even now, it was hard to enjoy the album in all its glory. Summer vacation had come and gone, and there were only a few weeks left before school started again. Trying to enjoy this album was like trying to enjoy your last meal. Yeah, it was awesome, but it didn't change the fact that your life was about to be forcibly ripped away from you.

Still, 14-year-old Jack Mason supposed it wasn't all bad. This year would be the year that he finally entered high school. Finally, he'd leave behind all those middle school retards and dipshits and be around MATURE people for a change. And by "mature," he meant "capable of rubbing two brain cells together." Plus, his best friend Tibe would be coming home from military school (where he had to spend his summer vacation, the poor bastard) and would be attending the same high school as him, as well as Jessica and Dexter too. Jessica had spent the summer in France with her grandparents, and that only left Dexter, who hardly ever went outside. As a result, Jack had been a little lonely this summer, but once school started again, the gang would be all together again.

"I digivolve my Mammothmon to..."

"Oh crap."

"SKULLMAMMOTHMON! BEHOLD MY UNRELENTING UNDEAD FURY!"

Until then, Jack would have to deal with the same old crap at home. He grunted as he took his headphones off, turned off his stereo, and leered at the wall beside his bed, knowing that Jimmy and his little DigiDork friend Todd were playing that stupid card game. Again.

Jimmy was Jack's younger 10-year-old brother. He was a good kid...except for that one thing. That one thing younger siblings do that drive their older counterparts up the wall. In the case of Jimmy Mason, that one thing was his love of Digimon. The anime's, the manga's, the video games, everything.

And Jack _hated _it. Every time he heard that anime's God damn theme song, it just made Jack want to put a gun to his head and pull the trigger...again and again until that theme stopped playing in his head and he would finally know some peace. And then there's the video games. Jimmy owns every one ever made, or at least very nearly, but they're all crap. Jack wasn't big on RPG's to begin with, but holy crap, the Digimon World games were bad even by RPG standards. But Jimmy was so blinded by his rampant fanboyism that he couldn't see it, or didn't want to.

Generally, Jimmy loved Digimon, and Jack hated Digimon.

Jack got up out of his bed and ran a hand through his short, dirt-blonde hair. He was wearing jean shorts and a white t-shirt, same wardrobe as usual when he was home. He was a creature of habit like that. He walked out of his own room and marched down the hall towards Jimmy's. He kicked down the door and did what needed to be done.

He pointed a finger at Jimmy and Todd.

**NNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRR RRRRRRDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSSSS!**

Satisfied that Jack got his point across, he slammed the door shut and strutted back towards his room.

...

New York City. It was, hands down, the most famous city in the world. Who didn't know of all the big flashing signs of times square? Who didn't know about the proud cultural heritage of Harlem? And of course, who could not recognize the empire state building and the statue of liberty?

This was the home city of the Mason family. You'd be surprised how quickly one becomes jaded with all those impressive sights when one actually LIVED in the city long enough.

The Masons didn't actually live in the city though. They lived in the Bronx, specifically Kingsbridge, a working class residential neighborhood in the northwest part of the Bronx, right on the border with the northernmost tip of Manhatten island. The family went on routine excursions to Manhatten every few weeks, since it was right across the river from them, but for the most part, they were your fairly typical All-American family. Well, as typical as one could get living in NYC of all cities.

The Mason house was an average sized, two-story home. From the front door, the stairs were dead ahead, leading to three bedrooms; one for Jimmy, one for Jack, and the biggest for Mr. and Mrs. Mason; and one bathroom. On the right side of the house was the dining room, to the left was the living room, and in the back was the kitchen.

In the dining room, Jack was enjoying a bologna sandwich he made while his mother was just finishing up the dishes. His father was on patrol in Manhatten. He was a police officer with the NYPD, and Mrs. Mason worked as a part-time landscaper. Jimmy was currently visiting his friend Todd, who lived just across the street. Jack's mother, a woman with long brunette hair and a sweet smile, took a seat at the auburn table opposite from Jack.

"Jack, we need to talk." Jack's mom began.

"About what?" Jack asked before taking a bite of his sandwich.

"About Jimmy." His mother stated. "You seem to pick on him a lot."

"I don't pick on him." Jack said with a mouth full of bologna and a dismissive wave.

"Yesterday, you pulled an ogre on him." she pointed out.

"...Okay, maybe I pick on him _a little._" Jack admitted as he swallowed._ "_But I'm his older brother. It's kind of my job." He added with a shrug as he took another bite of his bologna. He swallowed. "Look, he's been into Digimon for three years now. Don't you think he's getting a little old for it?"

"He's only ten, Jack. Cut him some slack." Jack's mom said.

Jack held up a finger, signaling his mom to wait while he finished his sandwich. Once he had successfully crammed what was left into his mouth and then managed to chew and swallow it all without choking, he gave his reply. "Look, Mom, I love Jimmy as much as a brother should love his younger counterpart. THAT'S why I'm ribbing on him about his Digimon fetish so much. I'm worried that, if this keeps up, he'll wind up like Larry."

...

3 months earlier...

...

"Hello Jack!" Larry, the school nerd said as he approached Jack while he was at his. There was a reason he was considered the school nerd. He was fat, had zits all over his face, spoke with a lisp, wore glasses, braces AND a pocket protector, and quite frankly, he was ugly. Not even the A/V club wanted him.

"So, what are your plans for your summer vacation? Mine are to spend a month in Star Trek camp. I've been working on my Klingon and everything! Also, been working on my Sailor Moon fanfiction! Will Sailor Mars finally admit her feelings to Sailor Jupiter? Only one way to find out! HEHEHEHEHEHEH *snort* HEHEHEHEHEHEHE *snort.*"

Jack paused.

"...Larry. What part of 'leave me the fuck alone' do you not understand?" Jack asked.

...

Present

...

"Look, Jack." the boy's mother began. "Jimmy is still a child. Yes, he's a little crazy about some franchise from Japan, but it's just a phase. It'll pass. Don't rush him to grow up. Let him enjoy his childhood while it lasts. He won't be ten forever, you know."

"...You're right." Jack said as he rubbed his chin in thought. "He won't..."

...

The Next Day...

...

"Come on..." Jack grumbled as he reached around under his bed. "Where are you...AH-HAH!"

Jack had thought a bit about what his mother had told him. And she was right. Jimmy wouldn't be ten forever. He will eventually grow out of his Digimon-liking phase.

So Jack decided that, if pulling ogres wouldn't work, perhaps accelerating the 'growing up' process will.

"Hello, Ms. November." Jack cackled as he pulled out a copy of Penthouse. "There's a boy in this house, and I need you to turn him into a man..."

Jack knew that, technically, what he was about to do was illegal. But then again, this was no worse than when Jack's uncle left this magazine here in the first place when he was visiting last month. 'Entry into manhood,' Uncle Joey had called it. Yes, Jack could go to jail for what he was about to do, but if it worked, he'd never have to hear 'DIGIMON - DIGITAL MONSTERS' ever again. He was willing to risk it.

He peeked out of his room and peered down the hallway to Jimmy's room. "Jimmy..." he practically sang. "I've got something I want to show you..."

A pause. No response.

"Jim?" Jack asked as he walked out of his room to take a peak inside Jimmy's. No one was there.

"Hey Mom!" Jack yelled.

"Yeah?!" Jack's mom yelled back.

"Where's Jimmy?!"

"He went to hang out at the park with Todd! He won't be back until four!"

"Oh! Okay!"

Jack stood there for a moment. He then looked down to the penthouse in his hand.

"...Eh." he said with a shrug. "Might as well." With that, he went into the bathroom with the porn magazine in hand.

...

After that was done, Jack went to his room to play some tetris on his gameboy. When 3:30 rolled around, Mrs. Mason asked him to go to the park and walk Jimmy home. With a sigh of resignation, he agreed to the task and set out.

The park was your pretty typical neighborhood park. It had a jungle gym, a swing set, a merry-go-round, perfect for little kids to get all the energy out of their system while their parents took a nap on the park bench. Jack sighed and rolled his eyes, immediately knowing where he could find Jimmy.

In the middle of the park was a big blue plastic hollowed out turtle. Smaller kids like Jimmy would be able to crawl inside the big turtle's shell and use it as a fort or a club house or something. Jimmy and his friends used it to play Digimon, away from the prying eyes of...well...people like Jack who would point at them and yell 'nerds.' Jack crawled into the plastic turtle's gut.

Inside, Jimmy was sitting against a wall, all of his digimon cards strewn across the floor, not surprising Jack in the least. He was holding one card in particular, and was staring blankly at it. He was wearing a yankees baseball cap, his favorite hat. "Hm?" Jimmy said as he saw Jack climb in. "Oh. Hey bro. Didn't hear ya."

Jack's eyes darted between the cards on the floor, the card in Jimmy's hand, and Jimmy himself. "Okay. I'll bite. What are you doing?"

"Oh...just thinkin'." Jimmy replied with a shrug.

"About what?" Jack asked.

"Well...This may sound crazy, but sometimes I wonder if digimon are real." Jimmy stated.

Jack paused. "...What." he said.

"I know, but follow me on this one." Jimmy began. "Maybe digimon _are _real and everything, from the mangas to the animes to the card games, everything is all part of an elaborate cover-up to keep digimon a secret. See, the franchise keeps digimon a secret because, well, who would think of all these kooky monsters as being real, right? So that got me thinkin', if digimon are real, so are digimon _tamers. _So I've been holding this digivice card here, see?"

Jimmy then showed Jack the card he was holding; a digivice card. "And I've been trying to see if I can turn it into a digivice or a blue if I wish hard enough. Then I could be a tamer, just like in the anime's! I mean, that's what happened to Takato in the beginning of Digimon Tamers. Digi-gnomes sensed how much he loved digimon and so gave him a blue card which he then swiped through his card reader and turning it into a digivice."

"...Okay, that is _it._" Jack said. "I have to look at deformed animals that look like they came back from a crappy tatoo parlor every time I enter the living room whenever you've got the TV. I have heard 'Kids in America' 'Run Around' and several other equally annoying bubblegum pop songs more times than I care to count. I would rather rip out my ankle tendons and _skip rope with them _then hear a digimon cry out its attack one more God damned time. Which, by the way, is HIGHLY impractical in a real life fight. Shouting 'Nova Blast' usually warns the enemy that a big-ass fireball is on its way and the enemy would take steps to avoid the attack accordingly. That horned T-rex wouldn't stand in a chance in today's combat environment, where surprise is everything. And NOW you're telling me that you sometimes like to sit alone in here hoping the friggin' blue fairy from Pinocchio will fly in here and turn that card you're holding into a real-life gameboy ripoff. That cover it?"

"...Actually, Bandai came out with the digivice _before _Nintendo came out with the gameboy." Jimmy replied. "So you've actually got it backwards as to who ripped off whom."

"...Gimme that!" Jack snapped as he lunged at his little brother and snatched the digivice card from his hands.

"Hey! Give it back!" Jimmy yelled as he and his brother started wrestling each other over the card. After a few minutes, Jack eventually pinned Jimmy down in a headlock.

"Look Jim!" Jack snapped. "It's a _card! _It's not going to turn into anything that's NOT a card just by saying 'I wish this card was a real life digi-"

***FLASH***

"AUGH! SON OF A BITCH! MY EYES!"

The inside of the plastic turtle was filled with a pure white light as the digivice card suddenly began glowing. It slipped out of Jack's grasp and floated up into the air. Jim and Jack, frozen from shock in mid-struggle (Jimmy still stuck in Jack's headlock), looked on in muted awe. Then, the card began to slowly change its silhouette. When the transformation was complete, it stopped glowing.

The card had turned into a digivice.

It then fell from the air and plopped onto the floor. Jack and Jimmy just stared at it.

"...I swear to God Jimmy, if you even THINK about saying 'I told you so,' I will put a violent end to the short, sad saga that was your life.


	2. EP1: DigiDorks! Digimon Liking Losers!-2

**Begineth Part 2.**

...

"Wow! A digivice! An actual, real-life digivice! Do you know what this means Jack?!"

"No, but I'm sure you'll tell me." Jack muttered as he and Jimmy walked back home.

"Digimon are REAL Jack! They're REAL!" Jimmy excitedly proclaimed, jumping up and down like the giddy school boy he was.

"Digimon are not real, Jim." Jack growled through gritted teeth, trying his best to contain his fury.

"Oh yeah? How do you explain the digivice then?"

"Hell, I don't know. A wizard did it."

"Wizards don't exist, Jack."

"Neither do Digimon, Jim."

Jimmy held up the digivice.

"...I'm going to smother you in your sleep, Jimmy."

"Pfft. Like my new partner Digimon will let you anywhere _near _me."

"_In your sleep._"

"Hmmm..." Jimmy carefully examined the digivice. "Cool! Looks like the model from Digimon Adventure 01, a classic! HOLY CRAP! It also comes with a card reader like the D-powers from Digimon Tamers! This is too cool!" Jimmy started pressing the digivice's buttons. However, every time he did this, the device's screen flashed red.

"The heck?" Jimmy quietly said as he kept pressing buttons and kept getting red screens to accompany them. "Won't work..."

"Let me see that thing." Jack said as he snatched the digivice from his little brother's hands. He held the device aloft with one hand, planting the other hand firmly on Jimmy's forehead to keep him from jumping up and grabbing the digivice back and/or clawing at Jack's face.

"Let's see..." Jack said as he pressed a button on the digivice. Not only did the digivice's screen not flash red this time, but a holographic screen appeared from the screen. The holographic screen was circular in shape, with a small red triangle slowly spinning around it as it periodically let out a low ping.

"Woah." Jack said. "That's some star trek shit right there."

"That's the radar screen from Digimon Tamers!" Jimmy fangasmed. "LEMMESEE LEMMESEE LEMMESEE LEMMESEE LEMMESEE LEMMESEE LEMMESEE LEMMESEE LEMMESEE LEMMESEE!"

At Jimmy's insistence, Jack rolled his eyes and then handed the digivice to his little brother. However, as soon as the device switched hands, the screen went away. "What the?" Jimmy muttered as he pressed buttons to try and get it working again. His efforts were rewarded only by red screen flashes. "What did you do?" he asked his older brother.

"Er, pressed a button?" Jack asked. He leaned in and tried to press the button he pushed before, but the screen just flashed red again. "The hell?"

"I should've seen this coming." Jimmy said with a shake of his head. "Digivices hardly ever work right at first." He looked at Jack. "We need to take this to Mom's woodshed for study."

...

In the Mason backyard was a simple little wooden shed. It was something that Mrs. Mason built herself to hold all the supplies for her job. While Jack and Jim were technically not allowed to go in there, that didn't stop them from going into the shed in the past. Like the time the two brothers tried to build their own machine guns from wood and old pipes. Or that time Jimmy found a dead lizard on the road and Jack tried to dissect it for a science project.

Now, the shed was once again host to another one of the two brothers' 'projects'; the examination of a digivice.

Jimmy and Jack stood at the work bench, Jimmy holding the digivice and furiously trying to press any and all of the digivice's buttons; all three of them. The ten-year-old clenched his teeth as he grew more and more frustrated with the digital device that refused to cooperate.

"The heck's going on?!" Jimmy growled. "It was working fine for a few seconds a while ago." He turned to Jack. "What did you do?"

Jack shrugged. "I pressed a button."

"Show me." Jimmy said as he placed the digivice in front of his older brother. Jack grumbled as he pressed a button and, just like magic, the radar appeared. Jimmy took the digivice away. The radar disappeared as soon as Jimmy grabbed it. He pressed a button and Jimmy got a red screen.

"What the tooty fruit's goin' on?!" Jimmy yelped. "I pressed the same button you did!" He slid the digivice back to Jack. "Do it again."

Jack pressed a button and got a radar.

Jimmy pressed the same button and got a red screen.

Jack pressed the button, radar.

Jimmy pressed the same button, red screen.

Jack: Radar.

Jimmy: Red screen.

Jack: Radar.

Jimmy: Red screen.

Jack: Radar.

Jimmy: Red screen.

Jack: Radar.

Jimmy: Red screen.

Jack: Radar.

Jimmy: Red screen.

Jack: Radar.

Jimmy: Red screen.

"...I'm beginning to see a pattern here." Jimmy said. "I'm gonna go get my digimon encyclopedia. Be right back."

With that, Jimmy left the shed, leaving Jack alone with the digivice. He turned to the digivice and sneered. "I don't believe this crap." he muttered to himself. "You're fictional. You shouldn't exist. So how is it you're here?"

The digivice gave him no answer.

"...STOP EXISTING, DAMN IT!" he yelled at the small device.

Jimmy came back in, this time with a soft-cover book in his hands. _The Complete Encyclopedia of Digimon. _Jack still couldn't believe Jimmy blew his allowance on that thing. Not only because it meant more money in Bandai's pocket, but also because everything that was in that book, Jimmy could've easily read on the internet for free.

"Digivices...digivices...I think I know what's going on but I need to confirm it..." Jimmy quietly said to himself. Jack rose his eyebrow at that. A few minutes ago, Jimmy was as excitable as a rabbit on cocaine. Now he's all sad and melancholy. What was with the sudden mood shift?

"Here it is." Jimmy said as he pointed to a paragraph next to a picture of a digivice that looked somewhat different to this one. "It is not uncommon for a digivice to be linked solely to its tamer. In such cases, only the digivice's tamer may use that digivice. The digivice will simply not work for anyone else, thus ensuring that they cannot be used by evil digimon for evil purposes."

Jimmy paused at that, and sighed longingly. "I had a feeling..." he said.

"What?" Jack asked. "What feeling? What are ya talkin' about?"

"There's a reason the digivice doesn't work for me, but seems to work fine for you. It's because it's yours, not mine. You're the tamer here."

Jimmy turned to Jack. "You're a digi-destined."

"...I'm a _what_." Jack replied.

"A digi-destined. Otherwise known as a tamer." Jimmy clarified. "This digivice will allow you to operate in sync with your partner digimon, whoever they may end up being. Together, it will be your duty to maintain the balance between the real world and the digital world."

"...Uh...huh." Jack replied. He turned on his heel and walked over to a storage closet.

"Now, I know the task ahead of you may seem daunting." Jimmy said. "But not to worry! I know virtually everything there is to know about Digimon and being a digi-destined. I've read every manga, watched every anime' and played every video game! I can walk you through it all. Think of me as the Mickey to your Rocky. And yes, while I'm disappointed that you're the tamer and not I, I'm perfectly confidant that, in due time, you will find your way to other tamers in this fair city and we can all band together and fight off any threat! And, much like Kazu and Kenta in Digimon Tamers, I will eventually be rewarded for my services with a partner digimon of my own! Yes! A great destiny lies ahead of us, brother!"

"Aha!" Jack proclaimed as he found what he was looking for; a pair of safety goggles that he promptly put on. Jimmy noticed and smiled.

"That's the spirit!" Jimmy said. "Donning a pair of goggles, just like all the great Digi-Destined! Takuya Kanbara! Takato Matsuki! And the original himself, Taichi Yagami!"

"Huh?" Jack asked. "Oh, these goggles aren't for that. I'm wearing them because they're what you're supposed to wear when operating a buzzsaw."

"...Buzzsaw?" Jimmy asked.

Jack then whipped a buzzsaw from the storage closet and smiled a wide, evil smile as it roared to life. "Stand back, Jimbo!" he called out. Jimmy leapt out of the way as Jack charged at the digivice and attacked it with the buzzsaw. He laughed like a madman as sparks flew from the digivice as the buzzsaw cut into it. After three whole minutes, Jack was satisfied and turned the buzzsaw off. He looked at the digivice...

...Which was still as pristine as it was when he and Jimmy brought it in. It didn't even have a scratch on it.

"The fuck...?" Jack muttered. "Alright, you little bastard. If that's the way you wanna play it..."

The next several minutes consisted of Jack trying to destroy the digivice with any number of tools, including;

A buzzsaw.

A hammer and chisel.

Pliers.

A jack hammer.

A chainsaw.

A power drill.

Dad's spare revolver.

You get the idea.

Jack's latest attempt had him dropping the digivice on the floor and whacking it with a sledgehammer. Again and again and again. All to no avail. Despite the massive amount of punishment thrown at it, the digivice didn't have so much as a scratch on it.

He stopped, and stood there panting, incredulously looking at the digivice. "The fuck is this thing made of?!" Jack shouted, exasperated.

"Chrome digizoid by the looks of it." Jimmy guessed.

"THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION!" Jack yelped. He resumed his sledgehammer assault. "DIE YOU STUPID THING! DIE! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE! WHY WON'T YOU DIE?! WHY WON'T YOU JUST FUCKING DIE?!"

Jack panted heavily as he glared daggers at the infernal digital device, which refused to die. "Motherfucker..." he swore.

"Yeah. That's chrome digizoid alright." Jimmy said with a nod. "No known metal in the real world can so much as scratch it."

"Well, I guess there's no other way..."

"You're gonna accept your newfound responsibilities as a digi-destined?"

"Shit no, I'm throwing this thing in the Hudson." Jack said as he picked up the digivice.

"Jack! Wait!" Jimmy yelped as he ran to the doorway and tried to block it. "You can't just throw it away!"

"Watch me." Jack said as he stepped over Jimmy. Being taller had its advantages.

"But that's a priceless device you hold in your hands! The key to defending both worlds! Forged from huanglong ore in the furnaces of the Digimon Sovereigns' domain! There's nothing else like it!"

"...You know..." Jack said as he came to a stop. He held up the digivice and smiled at it. "You might be on to something..."

...

"This is NOT what I had in mind!" Jimmy protested as Jack showed the digivice to the owner of the pawn shop.

"Okay Vinny. Indestructible beeper. How much money am I sitting on here?" Jack asked, ignoring his little brother. Vinny was the owner of a pawn shop Jack often visited. The teenager would occasionally break into the city dump some nights, take something that looked like it could be worth something, clean it up, and then take it to Vinny. Dangerous? Yes. Illegal? Most likely. But it sure beats being a paper boy.

"Hmmmm." Vinny hmm'd as he observed the digivice. He was a man who was in his fifties; balding but wearing a ponytail. The ponytail was acceptable in the 80's. "Indestructible you said?"

"It's a digivice." Jimmy said. "And Jack should not sell it."

"Ignore the midget with the baseball cap." Jack said as he pointed to his brother.

"Oh yeah! I think I recognize this!" Vinny said. "My grandson watches that stuff. That's the one where the pointy-haired kids stuff little animals in baseballs, right?"

"NO! THAT'S POKEMON! POKEMON IS MADE BY NINTENDO AND IS A FESTERING PILE OF SHIT! DIGIMON IS CREATED BY BANDAI, WHICH IS A SUBSIDY OF GOD! THEY'RE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! DO NOT INSULT THE GLORY OF GREYMON BY COMPARING HIM TO THAT LITTLE YELLOW ASS-RAT!"

"Jesus, Jim. Cool it." Jack said as his little brother finished his rant and was now panting.

"My recommendation; sell it on ebay." Vinny said as he handed the digivice back to Jack, who then pocketed it. "Frikkin' anime nerds go nuts over this stuff. You could make up to a few hundred bucks if you sell it as being limited edition."

"Ooooooh...limited edition." Jack said as he began rubbing his hands greedily. "Thanks Vin. Come on Jimmy. Let's take this bad boy home."

Jack led Jimmy out of the pawn shop. After he did so, Jimmy began ranting again. "I don't believe this! You've been given the sacred duty of protecting both the digital world and the real world from evil digimon and you're just gonna _sell it_?!"

"Yep." Jack nonchalantly replied. "I mean, what else am I supposed to do with it?"

"Oh, I don't know, how about, FIGHTING IN SYNC WITH YOUR PARTNER DIGIMON?!" Jimmy yelped.

"YO! WHOEVER-THE-HELL-YOU-AREMON! SHOW YOUR UGLY FACE!" Jack suddenly shouted.

Silence.

"See? No partner. Ergo, I'm not a digi-destiny." Jack argued.

"Digi-_destined._" Jimmy corrected.

"Whatever." Jack said. The two brothers turned into an alley they usually took to get home quicker.

"Look, your partner digimon has yet to reveal himself, alright? I'm sure he will in good time." Jimmy said.

"Yeah right." Jack said. "And I take it he and I are gonna go fight giant-ass monsters and cheap super-villain knockoff's, right?"

"For cripe's sake, Jack! A card turned into a digivice right before your eyes! Why aren't you taking this seriously?!" Jimmy pleaded.

"Because digimon is a toy franchise created by Bandai. Kinda hard to take that seriously." Jack said.

"But digimon are real! That digivice proves it!" Jimmy exclaimed.

"Yeah, this thing is _circumstantial evidence _at best." Jack explained as he pointed to the digivice. "I need hard proof before I can even _begin _to _entertain _the _very God damn notion _that digimon are real."

"How hard are we talkin'?" Jimmy asked. "What would it take to convince you?"

"Hell, I dunno. How about a digimon appearing out of thin air right in front of me?"

***FLASH***

"AUGH! SON OF A BITCH! MY EYES!"

First, there was a burst of brilliant white light in the middle of the alley, followed by what looked like a swirling white hole. Lines of code could be seen spinning around it like a digital whirlpool. A shadow appeared in the middle of it. A shadow that grew bigger and bigger, until finally something came out. The portal then disappeared.

The creature was large, about ten feet tall. It had green skin and long white hair. It had a prominent pair of horns jutting out from either side of its cranium and smaller spikes jutting out from its shoulders. Its body brisseled with muscles and veins, with a small skull and crossbones tattoo on its arm. In its left hand it held a large femur with spikes bolted to it. Finally, it had a mouth full of dagger-like teeth.

It roared at Jack and Jimmy.

"...Once again Jimmy, if you even THINK about saying 'I told you so,' I will put a violent end to the short, sad saga that was your life."

...

**Will Jack and Jimmy survive this encounter? Will Jack find his partner digimon in time? HAVE YOU GUYS SERIOUSLY NEVER WATCHED THE SHOW WHEN YOU WERE KIDS?!**

**Find out next time on an all-new episode of DigiDorks! Digimon Liking Losers**


	3. EP2: Veemon for Victory! (Part 1)

**And now, Jack's partner will be revealed (provided the title didn't already give it away...)!**

...

**OGREMON**

**ウイルスタイプ**

**チャンピオンレベル**

**特殊攻撃****- ****殴るモグラ**

**Well folks, here's our first customer, and he's a mean one! Ogremon's a virus-type, and he's one of the worst of the worst! His Pummel Whack attack can hit you with the force of a freight train! And you don't want to be on the receiving end of his Bone Cudgel attack either! Hopefully Jack can beat him, but let's face it, he's no Taichi Yagami. Hell, he's not even a Daisuke Motomiya.**

...

Ogremon roared at Jack and Jimmy before raising his fist.

**PUMMEL WHACK!**

A purple sphere of dark energy fired from the monster's fist. "Oh fuck!" Jack shouted as he and Jimmy leapt out of the way towards a wall on their left, before the sphere impacted against a brick wall behind them, leaving a crater.

"THE FLAMING FUCK IS THAT THING?!" Jack yelped.

"It's Ogremon! A virus-type champion level digimon!" Jimmy clarified.

"THAT THING'S A DIGIMON?!" Jack yelled.

"THEY'RE REAL JACK!"

Ogremon leapt into the air over the two brothers.

**BONE CUDGEL!**

The two new yorkers rolled out the way seconds before Ogremon's bone mace hit the ground they were lying on seconds before. "Okay! I believe you now! Digimon are real!"

The two of them took off running down the alley. Ogremon snarled as he gave chase. "So what do we do now Mr. Digimon Expert?!" Jack demanded.

"Our only hope is for you to find your partner digimon!" Jimmy answered. "Then he can whip Ogremon's sorry butt!"

"Well, where the hell is my partner, genius?! Cuz if ever there was a time for my partner to show up, NOW'S THE FUCKING TIME!"

"Check your digivice!" Jimmy suggested. "Maybe the radar can lead us to your partner!"

Jack pulled out his digivice as he and Jimmy turned a corner. Jack pressed a button and the radar appeared. There was a red arrow pointing off to the right. "It's pickin' up something, but we gotta lose this ogre thing first!"

"How?!" Jimmy asked.

"Like this!" Jack grabbed a garbage can and threw it right into Ogremon's path. The oni digimon slipped on the cylindrical can like it was a marble, giving a startled yelp before falling flat on his back.

"Up that fire escape!" Jack said as he pointed to the steel ladder in question. He gave Jimmy a boost before climbing up the ladder himself. He followed Jimmy up the ladder until he heard a roar beneath him. Jack looked down and saw Ogremon's ugly mug looking up at him. He used a dumpster as a footstool and reached up to grab at the teenager's leg.

"Fuck you!" Jack yelped as he kicked at the big meaty green hand. He suddenly remembered something his father had given him in case he ever got mugged in an alleyway like this one. Jack whipped out a can of pepper spray from his pocket and maced Ogremon right in the face. The ogre digimon howled in pain as he gripped his eyes, giving the two children a chance to escape.

"Go go go!" Jack yelled as he pushed Jimmy further up the fire escape. The two ascended the stairs as adrenaline pumped through their veins. By the time Ogremon was able to see again, Jack and Jimmy had successfully made it onto the roof of the building.

"Okay." Jack panted, trying to catch his breath. "I think we lost him."

"We've got to find your partner!" Jimmy exclaimed. "It's the only way we can stop Ogremon! If we don't, he'll get out of the alleys and into the streets and do some real damage!"

"Or." Jack said as he pulled out his cell phone. "I could just dial 911 and let the cops take care of that thing. This probably falls under their jurisdiction."

"Okay, two things." Jimmy began. "First, the NYPD is not equipped to handle a digimon incursion like this. Real world weapons like guns have always been shown in the anime to be, for the most part, ineffective against digimon. I think bullets would just make Ogremon mad. And even if bullets were that effective against him, he could still hurt a lot of people, including the cops, before he goes down. As a digi-destined, you and your partner stand the best chance of beating him without getting anyone else hurt."

"And second?" Jack asked.

"You're really gonna dial 911 and tell them that a giant green monster is tearing up the alleyways of Kingsbridge?"

"...Damn you and your pro-Digimon logic." Jack said. "Alright. Let's find this partner guy." He said as he whipped out his digivice and activated the search function. The red arrow pointed dead ahead. "Alright..." Jack said as he followed the arrow to the other end of the roof. After checking to make sure Ogremon wasn't down there, Jack and Jimmy descended the fire escape there and navigated the alleyways, following the digivice. They could hear Ogremon roaring and smashing things in the distance, which gave them incentive to jog or possibly run their way through the alleys in blind panic, trying to find the digimon who could save them.

"Damn it." Jack growled as more time went by without finding his partner. "What's this thing supposed to look like anyway?"

"No idea." Jimmy said. "No real telling what kind of partner digimon you're going to get until we find it."

"Well, so far we ain't found shit! A hint would be nice! An indicator that my partner is-"

They turned the corner and saw an egg in their path.

"-near." Jack finished.

Jack and Jimmy ran over to the egg. It was about the size of a football and, oddly enough, was standing upright. It was blue with two large vertical white stripes on the front and back, and a golden V on the side facing the two brothers. Jack turned to his little brother. Jimmy motioned to the egg.

"It's a digi-egg. Your partner is most likely inside." Jimmy explained.

"What do I do?" Jack asked.

"Pick it up." Jimmy answered. "It's waiting for _you._"

"Right." Jack said as he walked up to the digi-egg. He took a deep breath.

"...Just out of curiosity, how long was this thing here anyway? I mean we just turned the corner and, poof, there it was. For all I know, it's been here for hours and a stray dog could've taken a-"

"Jack!" Jimmy shouted. "Rampaging Ogremon on the loose!"

"Alright, alright." Jack said. "Just saying, I might need to wash my hands after this."

The teenager knelt down and picked up the digi-egg. He stood there for a while, examining it. "So...what? Does it hatch now or...?"

A crack formed in the egg's shell. The crack then began to spread across the egg like a spider web, beams of light trying to escape from the cracks. Until finally...

***FLASH***

"AUGH! SON OF A BITCH! MY EYES! THAT'S THE THIRD FUCKING TIME TODAY!"

When the light subsided, Jack blinked his eyes into focus. He noticed that he was no longer holding an egg, but now a creature of some sort. It was blue with a white snout and belly, and a golden V on its forehead. There was a little white horn right on the tip of its snout and seemed to have ear-like appendages on the back of its head. A pair of big red eyes looked back at Jack.

"Er...Hi?" Jack tried.

"Hiya Jack!"

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IT TALKS!"

In his panic, Jack dropped the creature and slipped and fell on his butt. The reptillian creature landed on its feet and began hopping around the teenage New Yorker like a kangaroo, laughing histerically. "Yahoo! Free at last! Free at last! You found me, you found me, you found me!" the creature joyfully decreed.

...

**VEEMON**

**ワクチンのタイプ**

**ルーキーレベル**

**スペシャルアタック****- ****プディング**

**Yes, you read right folks. Jack's partner is none other than the most infamously annoying 'lead' partners of them all! God have mercy on poor Jack. Thankfully, his Vee Headbutt and Vee Punch attacks have received a buff, so the little blue weirdo won't be entirely useless in rookie form.**

...

"What...the...fuuuuuuck..." Jack quietly breathed as he watched his new partner digimon hop around him like a demented wallaby.

"My name is Veemon! But you can just call me Veemon!" the digimon said as he stopped in front of Jack. "And I've been waiting a very long time ta meetcha, Jack!"

"...No, no, no, no, no, this is wrong, this is wrong, this is _fucking wrong_..." Jack muttered as he shakingly pointed an accusing finger at Veemon. "_I _can not be _your _partner. That is _not fucking feasible. _I've only known you for ten seconds, but I can already tell that you and I _not fucking compatible._"

"Nope, you're the one alright because you're the only one who could get my digi-egg to hatch!" Veemon cheerfully argued.

"Wow, Veemon!" Jimmy gushed. "Veemon was the lead partner digimon in Zero-Two and was the partner of Daisuke Motomiya! Although he was not exactly the most well-regarded of tamer leaders, I always felt that Daisuke was still kind of likable in a 'lovable idiot' sort-of-way."

"Okay, this isn't happening." Jack said to himself. "This is all just a seriously freaky dream." He slapped himself. "Wake up, Jack." He slapped himself again.

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Is he okay?" Veemon asked Jimmy.

"This is all very new to him. Just give him a minute." Jimmy answered.

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

Jack turned to Veemon. "I'm not dreaming, am I?" The digimon shook his head, still wearing the big dumb grin he'd been wearing since he first hatched from that egg. "Fucksucker!" Jack cursed. "Alright...er..."

"Veemon!" the little dragon digimon enthusiastically said.

"Right. Veemon. Here's the lowdown. There's a big green asshole tearing shit up and I need you to...shit, I don't know, blow him up or something." Jack explained.

Veemon put up his fists (which Jack noticed were ridiculously large for a creature Veemon's size) and took a hardened look on his face, a fire lighting in his eyes. "Just point me at him and I'll give him what for!" Veemon said.

It was then that the two brothers and their new digimon companion heard a stomping approach. Ogremon appeared around the corner, having finally found the boys. He roared at them.

"There he is!" Jack said as he pointed at Ogremon! "Kick his ass!"

Veemon crouched low, his legs coiling like springs.

**VEE HEADBUTT!**

Veemon suddenly launched himself through the air like a living bullet, his thick skull impacting with Ogremon's forehead. Veemon bounced off the ogre's head and landed on his feet, while the oni digimon roared in pain as he gripped his forehead.

"Holy shit!" Jack yelled out. "That was like a biotic charge! You're goin' all Krogan Vanguard on his ass!"

Veemon ran up to Ogremon and leapt up into the air.

**VEE PUNCH!**

Veemon hit Ogremon right on the nose with a sickening crunch, sending the ogre reeling back further. Even though Ogremon was easily ten times his size, Veemon was winning so far. Ogremon snarled and raised his fist.

**PUMMEL WHACK!**

The dark energy sphere blasted Veemon and sent him flying, landing right at Jack's feet.

"Shit shit shit, get up get up get up!" Jack swore as he helped Veemon back on his feet. "Get back in there!" he added as he literally pushed his new partner digimon back into the fight.

"Right!" Veemon triumphantly said as he charged forward.

**BONE CUDGEL!**

*THWACK*

*CRACK*

*SPLINT*

*WHAMMO*

The onslaught sent Veemon flying, the little digimon landing at Jack's feet, covered in cuts and bruises. "Ow..." he said.

"FAT FUCK-LOAD OF GOOD YOU ARE!" Jack yelled at Veemon.

"JACK! GOOD TAMERS DON'T YELL AT THEIR DIGIMON LIKE THAT!" Jimmy yelled at Jack.

"WE'RE ABOUT TO DIE! I THINK I CAN BE FORGIVEN IF I'M LOSING MY SHIT RIGHT NOW!" Jack yelled at Jimmy.

Ogremon roared at the brothers as he began to close the distance between itself and the brothers.

"Wait! That digivice comes with a card reader!" Jimmy triumphantly said as he came up with the solution. He fished out a deck of digimon cards from his backpack and handed them to Jack. "Quick, slide something through it!"

"Fuck fuck fuck..." Jack cursed as he looked for a digimon card to slide through the digivice. Big black dog thing that looked pissed. That might work. Jack slid the card through his digivice. He saw text appear on the device's screen.

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**CERBERUMON ATTACK ACTIVATE!**

Green fire suddenly flickered from Veemon's mouth. The little dragon got up and faced Ogremon.

**EMERALD BLAZE!**

Veemon spat out a stream of green fire at Ogremon. The oni screeched and yelped in panic as he tried to put out the flames.

"Great!" Jimmy said. "Now use a recovery card!"

"Um, kay..." Jack said as he flipped through the cards. "...What the shit is a recovery card?!" he demanded as his panic started to set back in.

"The one with the floppy disk on it." Jimmy pointed out.

"Yes! Found it!" Jack shouted as he found the card and slid it through.

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**RECOVERY DISC ACTIVATE!**

Veemon's wounds suddenly disappeared right before Jack's eyes. He stood back up and tensed his legs again, ready for another strike.

**VEE HEADBUTT!**

Veemon launched himself at Ogremon again, this time hitting him right in the chest. Veemon bounced off the impact and flung himself into the air. "Jack! Hit me with something else!" he yelled in mid-air.

"Ummm...okay! Dinosaur thing!" Jack said as he slid the card through the digivice.

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**GREYMON ATTACK ACTIVATE!**

**NOVA BLAST!**

Veemon spat a massive fireball out of his mouth which headed straight for Ogremon. The fireball exploded upon impact with the evil digimon. When the smoke cleared, Ogremon was still somehow standing, but just barely. Jack flipped through the cards and found another card, one with a winged shoe on it, reminding Jack of the Scout's emblem from Team Fortress 2 "Well, shit, let's see what this one does." he said with a shrug before sliding it through.

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**SPEED ACTIVATE!**

Veemon coiled his legs for one more attack.

**VEE HEADBUTT!**

Veemon launched himself again, sounding like a gunshot as he flew through the air at what looked to Jack like Mach 3. He hit Ogremon straight in the chest.

And then came out the other side.

Veemon slid across the ground on his feet and turned around to see his handiwork. He punched a hole right _through _Ogremon's chest cavity, creating a hole through which he could see clear to the other side. The evil digimon disintegrated from that point of origin into bits of data until there was nothing left. He was gone.

Veemon pumped a fist into the air with a cheer. "We did it, Jack! We beat him!"

"That...was...AWESOME!" Jimmy said as he too began to cheer. "A real-life digimon battle! They're real! They're real! Can you believe it, Jack?!"

"Holy fucking shit..." Jack breathed. "I...I need to sit down for a minute." The teenager sat down on the ground, his back leaning against a wall. "Okay, just to recap, did I just slide cards through a beeper-thing that gave a little blue lizard enough super-powers to waste a green ogre monster?"

"Yup!" Jimmy enthusiastically replied. "Congratulations on your first victory as a Digi-Destined!"

Veemon hopped over to the boys and turned to Jack, smiling a big smile. "This is the beginning of a beautiful partnership, I think!" Veemon exclaimed excitedly.

Jack just sat there and stared at Veemon. An awkward silence ensued between the two.

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap


	4. EP2: Veemon for Victory! (Part 2)

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Wake up, Jack."

*slap*

"Er, Jack?" Jimmy interrupted Jack's mental breakdown. "It's getting dark. We should probably head home."

"Yeah...home." Jack said with a nod of his head. "Home sounds good." With that, he got up and began to make his way out of the labrynth of alleyways, Jimmy and Veemon following him.

Jack stopped in his tracks after realizing that Veemon was following him as well as Jimmy. He turned to the little dragon digimon. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"With you." Veemon replied matter-of-factly with that great big grin of his.

Jack turned to Jimmy, looking for an explanation. Jimmy shrugged. "Well, you _are _Veemon's tamer." he said.

Jack's eyes widened in horror as he realized the implication here. "No. NO. _No. _That was NOT part of the contract! He is NOT going to live with me!"

"Where else is he supposed to go?" Jimmy asked. Veemon's 'ears' drooped a bit and the little dragon looked down at the ground.

"I don't know...wherever it is digimon live, I guess." Jack said.

"That would be the digital world." Jimmy explained. He turned to Jack's new partner. "Veemon? Is there any way you can easily access the digital world from here?"

The little dragon shook his head sadly. Jimmy looked back up to Jack. "Come on, Jack. He's got nowhere else to go."

"What the hell am I gonna tell Mom and Dad? That some sadistic twist of fate has decided to pair me up with a little blue lizard thing? Oh yeah! That'll end well for everyone involved!"

"I agree. Which is why we need to keep him a secret from Mom and Dad, or anyone else who isn't a tamer, for that matter. The less they know about your new status as a Digi-Destined, the better."

"I don't believe this..." Jack said as he rubbed his forehead. "Look, why _should _we let him stay with us anyway?"

"You mean besides the fact that he's got nowhere else to go, which we've already just covered?" Jimmy asked. "Well, how about the fact that he's _your partner digimon, _Without you, he's too weak to fend off evil digimon and without him, said evil digimon will likely eat you."

"Okay, what do you even MEAN by 'evil digimon?' Are you saying there's gonna be even more digimon like the one that just tried to kill us?" Jack questioned.

"Well, _duh._" Jimmy replied with a roll of his eyes._ "_You received that digivice for a reason, and now we know what that reason is. It's because more digimon are on their way and unless someone like you stops them, they're going to upset the balance between the real world and the digital world!"

"We don't_ know_ that!" Jack argued. "For all we know, that ogre was a one-time thing. A _fluke. _An event that will never happen again which means the blue muppet reject here isn't that useful to us anymore."

"We don't know _that _either!" Jimmy countered. "Didn't Dad once say that a good gun is like a good condom? Better to have one and not need it than to need one and not have it? Well Veemon is better than a gun OR a condom!"

"You're ten! You don't even know what a condom is!" Jack shouted in exasperation.

"Well, maybe I _would _if an older kid would just tell me what a condom is instead of telling me that my dad will tell me when I'm older. But that's besides the point! The point is-"

"It's okay." Veemon said sadly. "I can tell when I'm not wanted..." With that, the little holy dragon turned around and begin walking in the opposite direction. As the little digimon began walking away, Jimmy looked up at Jack and gave him a dirty look.

"...Shit." Jack growled under his throat. "Hey! Veemon!" Jack shouted. Veemon turned around and looked at Jack with big, sad eyes. "You...can...maybe...stay with us for a little while."

"Wahooo!" Veemon cheered as he switched from sadness to happiness instantly. He ran back over to Jack and lunged at him, attempting to take him in a big hug.

Jack sidestepped out of the way, allowing Veemon to land in a pile of garbage bags.

"One step at a time, Veemon." Jack told his partner.

...

"Jack bought you this adorable thing?" Mrs. Mason asked as she held aloft the Veemon 'doll' that Jack 'had bought for Jimmy.'

"Yeah well...I figured I was a little hard on Jimmy the other day, so I decided to make it up to him." Jack replied with a shrug.

"And it's a collector's item!" Jimmy went on as his mother handed the 'doll' back to him. "This thing is gonna be worth THOUSANDS in ten years! This is gonna pay off my student loans someday!"

"That's great! Now Mommy and Daddy won't have to live in a box!" Mrs. Mason joked. She gave her youngest son a kiss on the forehead before he went up to his room with his new 'doll' in tow.

"We're having meatloaf for dinner. You father will be coming home in a couple of hours." She told Jack. "...And thank you for buying him that stuffed digimon, Jack. It means a lot to him."

"...Yeah. Don't mention it." Jack said before exitting the living room and making his way up the stairs. He made his way into Jimmy's room, where he took Veemon, closing the door behind him.

"Yes!" Jimmy cheered. "She bought it! The Terriermon gambit worked!"

"Hooah!" Veemon cheered.

Jimmy's room was like a DigiDork's personal paradise. Action figures lining the shelves, official Digimon bedsheets, official digimon carpet, sketchbooks with poorly drawn digimon pictures in it, and of course, a big poster of the characters from the original anime and their partner digimon. Jack didn't know their names, so he came up with his own names.

Goggler.

Blondie.

Bucket Head.

Ginger Nerd.

Rich Bitch.

Dr. Piss-His-Pants.

That one kindergardener that cries a lot (Jack didn't even care enough about that one to give him a real name).

And of course, Little Girl Jesus.

Jack shuttered as he came to a horrifying realization. _Oh God. I'm one of THEM now._

"Is this your room, Jack?" Veemon asked.

"No. It's mine." Jimmy said. "But you can-"

"_No._" Jack interrupted his brother.

"But he's your partner." Jimmy pointed out.

"I don't care if he's my siamese twin. He is NOT staying in my room. I am drawing the line THERE." Jack said.

"It's okay. I can sleep in here." Veemon said.

"Lovely! So we're all in agreement! See you in the morning." Jack said with a note of finality as he slammed the door behind him.

Jack went back into his room and flopped on the bed. He plugged his headphones into his stereo and jammed out to more _Ten Thousand Fists _until dinner. After dinner, he went back up to his room and jammed out some more before finally calling it a night.

...

Jack's eyes opened, and it took him a moment to realize it was morning.

He reached over to the nightstand and grabbed his digivice. He examined his digivice.

Yup. It still exists.

Yesterday was not a seriously messed up dream.

Veemon battling and defeating Ogremon? That totally happened yesterday.

He is now a Digi-Destined, with an annoying hyperactive blue lizard as a partner.

"...Fuck. My. Life." Jack muttered.

...

**Well, looks like Jack is a Digi-Destined now; whether he likes it or not! He'd better adjust his attitude soon, cuz Jimmy was right about one thing; there's plenty more nasty digimon where Ogremon came from! Will Jack be able to overcome the challenges that lie ahead of him?**

**Find out on the next episode of DIGIDORKS: DIGIMON LIKING LOSERS!**


	5. EP3: Can You Dig It? (Part 1)

"Okay, boys. I'm going to go do a job for Mrs. Jenson! Jack, you'll be okay watching Jimmy, right?" Mrs. Mason called upstairs as she donned her overalls and hefted her toolboxes.

"We'll be fine, Mom!" Jack called from the head of the stairs and gave her a thumbs up.

"Okay. My number's on the fridge if you need anything." The Mason mother replied. And with that, she walked out the door, locking it behind her.

"She's gone." Jack said as he heard his mother's car leave the driveway.

"Come on, Veemon. You're probably hungry." Jimmy said as he lead the digimon downstairs.

"You betcha!" Veemon enthusiastically replied.

Jack cursed under his breath some more. This was going to be a long day. The three of them made their way down to the dining room where Veemon took a seat at the head of the table, only to picked up by Jack.

"No." Jack said. "That's Dad's chair. No one sits in Dad's chair but Dad." He then placed Veemon in a guest's chair. "I'll go microwave some pancakes." He then said as he went into the kitchen. Five minutes later, he came back out with two plates of three pancakes each. He placed each one in front of Jimmy and Veemon.

"HARGH SCROFF NARF NOM"

"Jesus!"

Jack was shocked by the way Veemon tore into his breakfast. No forks, no knives, just grabbed the pancakes with his hands and shoveled them into his mouth. He ate it all inside of eight seconds and gave a loud belch when he was done.

"That was great!" Veemon decreed.

"Christ, I'll bet. You fuckin' _inhaled _those things." Jack replied.

"Large appetites aren't uncommon in digimon." Jimmy pointed out.

"Of course." Jack grunted as he took a seat across from Veemon and all but leared at the little dragon digimon. Veemon simply cocked his head to one side.

"So." Jack began. "We're...'partners' now, right?"

"Yup!" Veemon replied.

"Okay. Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why me?" Jack pressed. "I don't know if you've noticed yet, but my little brother is about a thousand times the digimon otaku I am." he said as he jerked a thumb at Jimmy. "So, why not him? Why me?"

Veemon just stared at Jack blankly. He then shrugged. "I dunno." Veemon replied.

"What do you mean 'you dunno?'"

"I dunno why you're my tamer." Veemon replied. "You just are."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jack asked, getting increasingly impatient.

"You're my tamer. What's not to get?"

"Plenty!" Jack yelped. "Like WHY am I your tamer? Why'd you pick me?"

"I didn't." Veemon said.

"Then who did?!" Jack yelped.

"I don't know!" Veemon yelped back.

"What do you mean you...augh." Jack cut himself off as he began massaging his forehead. He was getting a headache from this. "Okay." he said after taking a moment to collect his thoughts. "Let's start over and try something different. What do you remember before you hatched from that egg?"

"Nothing." Veemon replied.

"...Okay, so if you don't remember anything from before you hatched, how did you know I was supposed to be your tamer. And you know what? For that matter, how did you even know my _name_?"

"I don't know how." Veemon said with a shrug. "I just do."

"...Okay, you're useless in the exposition department." Jack turned to Jimmy. "You. Digimon expert. Explain."

"Sounds like he was specifically created for you, Jack." Jimmy speculated before taking another bite of his pancakes. "That's a common way for partner digimon to be created. In Adventure and Zero-Two, Gennai created the partner digimon so that they could be paired with the Digi-Destined. In Tamers, digi-gnomes created Guilmon from Takato's drawing."

"So who created Veemon?" Jack asked.

Jimmy shrugged. "Hard to say. Your digivice has a card reader and you received your partner long before entering the digital world, so thus far we've been operating by Tamers rules, which makes me think digi-gnomes may be to blame. But it's still too early into our adventure to know for certain."

"...You do realize this isn't a cartoon, right?" Jack asked. "There's a _living, breathing digimon _sitting at our table. It's not a dream. Believe me, I checked this morning. This is ACTUALLY HAPPENING."

"I know." Jimmy said. "Isn't it _cool_?"

"No." Jack said with a quick shake of his head. "No. No it's not cool." He turned to Veemon. "Hey Veemon, one more question. Now that I'm a didact-"

"Digi-destined." Jimmy corrected.

"Whatever." Jack said. "Now that I'm one of those, what exactly is expected of me?"

"You and me are gonna fight any bad digimon that try to take over and/or destroy the world!" Veemon enthusiastically said as he raised his fists, ready for anything.

"Okay, see, that's not cool with me." Jack said.

Veemon's ear-things drooped again. "...You don't want to be my tamer?" he asked.

"Look Veemon." Jack began. "It's not you, it's me. I'm only fourteen, I'm about to enter high school...I'm sorry, but I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment. I don't want to be tied down just yet, you know?"

"Jack, he's not a puppy." Jimmy said. "You can't just give him back to the pound if you don't like him."

"...We'll see about that." Jack said as he walked over to Veemon's seat and grabbed the little dragon by the tail and took him upstairs.

...

"Jack, why are we here?" Veemon asked as he climbed out of the box. He, Jack and Jimmy were in the park, a few feet away from the big turtle.

"You're goin' home, good buddy." Jack said as he ruffled Veemon's...scalp, I guess. "I'm going to do the responsible thing by releasing you back into your natural habitat."

"You mean the digital world?" Jimmy asked.

"Yup!" Jack declared. "And since this is where I first got my digigotchi-"

"Digivice." Jimmy corrected.

"Whatever." Jack replied. "Since this is where I first got my gameboy thing, I'll bet there's a portal to the digi-land right here!"

"Digital World." Jimmy corrected. "And even if there is, you can't just hand in your digivice." The younger Mason pointed out.

"Watch me." Jack said. He then pulled out his digivice and held it aloft in the air.

"Oh noble...uh...Digimon...gods?...I guess..."

"Digimon Sovereigns." Jimmy said.

"Yeah, those guys!" Jack cried out. "I hereby reject this responsibility thrust unto me, for I am...not worthy! Yeah! I'm not worthy of being a digi-something-or-other."

"Destined." Jimmy said.

"And so I ask that you take back this digivice and return Veemon here to his rightful home!"

A still silence hung in the air.

"Well, so much for that plan." Jimmy said. "Don't worry Jack. What you're going through is very common. See, whenever a tamer gives up his digivice or digimon, it's usually because they're going through some self-doubt issues which is usually a prelude to character development, usually through a revelation or-"

"Don't care." Jack said before turning back to the turtle. "Hey! I'm talkin' to you! I'm assuming YOU'RE the one who gave this digivice to me! What's the return policy on this thing?!" he pointed to his digivice.

Nothing.

Then-

***FLASH***

This time, Jack didn't get blinded, much to his relief. The source of light evidently came from inside the hollowed out turtle, as beams of light shined through every hole in the plastic structure.

"Alright! It worked!" Jack cheered. He then knelt down next to Veemon. "Don't worry, little fella. Soon you'll be able to...run free...or...whatever it is you're gonna do."

The beams of light then faded away. Then, a bestial roar was heard as the turtle began rocking back and forth violently, as if something was trying to get out.

"Here we go, again." Jimmy said as he fished out his cards.

"Okay, it's great that you opened up a portal in there!" Jack yelled at the turtle. He pointed at Veemon. "But I was looking to send one back, not bring in another one! Can we try that again?!"

The beast inside snarled as it banged against the turtle's interior. A giant black drill suddenly pierced the 'roof' of the turtle's shell.

"...That's a drill." Jack pointed out. "I call bullshit on that. The last one did NOT have a drill!"

The giant drill began to spin and carve up the turtle. The digimon then roared as it finally broke free of its plastic prison and landed on the dirt, its drill still spinning angrily.

The drill grew from its nose, and furthermore it had little tiny drills for claws on its massive paws. It had thick purple fur with a white coat on its belly. Whiskers on its face twitched as the creature took in its surroundings.

...

**DRIMOGEMON**

**データ型**

**チャンピオンレベル**

**特殊攻撃****- ****アイアンドリルスピン**

**The morlocks ain't got nuthin' on this guy! Data-type, champion level and a drill made out of solid steel. You'd better get out of the way when he revs up his Iron Drill Spin attack. Otherwise, he'll bury you six feet under. So let me ask you this, dear readers. Can. You. Dig it?!**

...

"I can dig it!" Veemon said as he put up his fists, ready for battle.

Drimogemon seemed completely oblivious to Veemon's challenge however. It then did something rather unexpected. Rather than try to kill Jimmy and Jack like Ogremon did, Drimogemon spun up his drill and pointed it downwards, digging a tunnel. He even filled in the hole as he went deeper down, creating a giant patch of dirt where the hole once was.

"...Well, that problem took care of itself." Jack said. "Come on. Looks like we'll have to find another way to send Veemon back." With that, he turned around and began walking out of the park.

"What?!" Jimmy yelped. "Jack, did you somehow NOT see the Drimogemon dig a hole right in front of us?!" he questioned as he caught up to his older brother, Veemon following Jimmy's lead.

"I saw." Jack said, not breaking his stride or even looking back. "But it's not trying to kill us like the last one so...how is it _our _problem?"

"We've gone over this!" Jimmy blurted out exasperatingly. "The NYPD can't handle a very large, very irate digimon!"

"They won't have to." Jack pointed out. "Jimmy, did it ever occur to you that maybe that mole thing didn't want to tear shit up? Maybe he just wants to live in a hole beneath the Bronx?"

"I...suppose you have a point." Jimmy said. "Ogremon was a virus-type, so he was naturally inclined towards destruction. But Drimogemon's a data-type. He doesn't WANT to destroy anything. He probably just wants to be left alone."

"My point exactly." Jack replied. "He's opted not to fuck with us, so in return, we shall not fuck with him."

"But he's still a digimon on the loose in the real world." Jimmy argued. "Even if he doesn't mean it, he could still do a lot of damage."

"Well, he's currently underground, which means he's the New York Subway Committee's problem now." Jack said as he walked out through the park entrance proper.

"So...that's it? You're gonna walk away from what is so obviously your jurisdiction, just like that?" Jimmy asked.

"Eeeyup." Jack replied.

Jimmy sighed. "Jack...you've been entrusted with a very rare gift. The least you can do is take it a little more seriously."

"I'm _fourteen._" Jack pointed out as he stopped and turned towards Jimmy. "What do you want from me?"

"I'm _ten._" Jimmy pointed out in turn. "Yet I seem to have an easier time of comprehending the weight of what is happening than you are."

"You're a digimon otaku, so you don't count." Jack said.

Jimmy scowled at Jack before turning to Veemon. "Veemon. What do you think about all this?"

Veemon paused. He looked at Jack. Then he looked back at Jimmy. The little dragon digimon then walked up to Jack's side and stood proudly. "Jack's my partner! So if Jack doesn't think Drimogemon will cause any trouble, than neither do I!" he proudly declared.

"...I am _not _your partner." Jack stated.

"Huh?" Veemon replied.

"I'm not your partner." Jack repeated. "Whoever thought I was, CLEARLY made a mistake."

"But...you've got a digivice! You made my egg hatch!" Veemon argued. "We're destined to be partners!"

"_Destined_? You don't even _know_ me." Jack argued back.

"Sure I do! I know your name! Jack Mason!" Veemon replied.

"Okay, that's a start. When's my birthday?" Jack asked.

"...Uh..." Veemon didn't know.

"What's my favorite color?"

"Er..."

"What do I do for a living?"

"Uh..."

"What's my favorite _Disturbed _album?"

"Well..."

"That was a trick question. The correct answer is all of them. Am I a boob man, or an ass man?"

"...What's a boob?"

"I rest my case." Jack concluded.

"...Okay, I don't know you." Veemon admitted as his ear-things began to droop again. "But I wanna change that! I mean, you're my tamer and-"

"Okay, look." Jack said. "I'm about to enter high school, alright? Legally, I'm not old enough to drink, join the military, or make out with that hot waitress at IHOP without sending that poor girl to prison. So what makes you think I'm old enough to _fight giant monsters_? I'm sorry but, as I said earlier, a beaurocratic mistake was made somewhere along the line. Whoever paired you up with me fucked up big time."

"I don't believe this!" Jimmy yelped as he threw his hands in the air. "Your digimon is _agreeing _with you and your immediate response is to _call his very creation a mistake_? You're...like...the worst Digi-Destined ever! Right up there with pre-Heel Face Turn Ken Ichijouji. But with a less flamboyent fashion sense and more swearing! I mean, do you have any idea how long I've wished _I _was a Digi-Destined?!"

"...You know what? Wish granted." Jack replied as he pulled out his digivice and shoved it into Jimmy's hands. "Little blue bastard is _your _problem now."

"That's not how it works!" Jimmy protested.

"Don't care anymore." Jack said as he walked away. "Gonna have lunch at Wendy's. Suddenly in the mood for a baconator. Meet ya back at the house! Good luck with your new tamer, Veemon!"

Jack walked down the street at a brisk pace and turned the corner out of sight. Veemon just looked at the ground, tears starting to well up in his eyes.

"...Don't worry, Veemon." Jimmy said as he put a comforting hand on the digimon's shoulder. "He'll come around eventually."

_He has to. _Jimmy thought to himself. _They always do in the anime's and manga's. And this is just like that...right_


	6. EP3: Can You Dig It? (Part 2)

The next day, Jimmy was sitting on a park bench, fiddling with Jack's digivice, now his own apparently. He pressed the two lonely buttons on the digital device several times, only to get a buzz and a red screen each time he pressed it. Jimmy groaned.

"You get it working yet?" Veemon asked from his hiding spot in the bushes. The park was currently a little crowded at the moment, children scurrying about the jungle gym and spinning on the merry-go-round. So Jimmy decided it was better if Veemon stayed hidden.

"Nope." Jimmy replied. He sighed. He wished it was working. Truly he did. But it seemed that the digivice would work for Jack and no one else. Not even for someone who loved digimon. "It's not fair..." he grumbled.

It was then that he suddenly heard the wrenching of metal. Jimmy's head jerked towards the merry-go-round, where a huge black drill protruded through the middle. The children on it jumped off screaming in terror as the drill began to spin, spinning the merry-go-round with it at an alarmingly fast speed. The merry-go-round eventually flew off entirely before the drill's owner emerged from the ground.

Drimogemon roared in fury as he surfaced. Every child in the park ran away screaming, their mothers frantically grabbing their children and running to their SUV's and minivans in the parking lot.

"...Uh-oh." Jimmy said.

Veemon emerged from the bushes, no longer seeing the need for secrecy. "I thought a data-type like him didn't want to cause random destruction." he said.

"Maybe all the kids joyfully playing woke him up from a nap or something." Jimmy said.

Drimogemon wasted no time in initiating his rampage. He charged at a jungle gym.

**IRON DRILL SPIN!**

Drimogemon stuck his giant nose drill into the jungle gym and spun it, tearing it to shreds.

"We've gotta stop him!" Veemon said as he put up his fists.

"Right!" Jimmy replied as he jumped from his seat, digivice in one hand and a deck of cards in the other. It was do or die time. Veemon coiled his legs like springs.

**VEE HEADBUTT!**

He launched himself at Drimogemon, hitting the mole digimon in the side. Veemon then landed in front of him.

"Come on! You don't look so tough!" Veemon taunted.

Drimogemon responded by backhanding the little holy dragon, sending him flying across the park. Veemon collided headfirst into a tree before landing on the ground with a thwack.

"Okay...maybe you DO look so tough." Veemon slurred as he saw little Biyomons flying around his head. He shook it off and stood right back up. He ran over and stood right in front of Drimogemon defiantly. "Do somethin', Jimmy!" Veemon yelled.

"Alright, here goes." Jimmy said as he took out a Cerburumon card and slid it through.

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**CERBURUMON ATTACK!**

"...I don't feel nuthin'." Veemon said. He opened his mouth to see if green flames would shoot out like last time. Nope. No such luck.

Drimogemon simply raised an eyebrow at the rookie digimon sticking his tongue out at him. "Er, Jimmy?" Veemon asked.

"Hold on!" Jimmy yelled. "I'll try something else!" He slashed another card through.

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**GREYMON ATTACK!**

Veemon once again opened his mouth, hoping that something like a fireball would roar forth. But again, nothing. Drimogemon was getting increasingly confused by what he was seeing.

As Jimmy began to panic, he was starting to wonder where the heck Jack was.

...

"Oh, burrito." Jack said as he coddled the food tube as he stood in front of his favorite burrito stand. "Your black beans and rice make my tummy feel nice...and my butthole _buuuuurnn..._"

...

Drimogemon began growling again, deciding it should probably just go ahead and kill Veemon. Its drill began to spin.

"Oh boy." Jimmy said as he slashed another card through the reader.

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**GOTSUMON ROCK SKIN ACTIVATE!**

"Haha!" Veemon triumphantly said. "Now my skin is as hard as rock! You can't hurt me!"

Drimogemon casually raised a paw.

**MOLE'S CLAW!**

"Oh jeez, that hurt me!" Veemon cried out as he was slashed by Drimogemon's claws.

"Run Veemon! Run!" Jimmy yelled.

"Running!" Veemon yelled back as he turned around and fled. Drimogemon wasn't letting him off that easy though.

**IRON DRILL SPIN!**

Drimogemon chased Veemon up and down the playground, its giant drill nose spinning fiercely the whole time.

Jimmy never felt so useless in his entire life. He tried to think of other cards he could slash through the digivice to try and help Veemon, but he knew it wouldn't do any good. This was Jack's digivice, plain and simple. It would only work if Jack was the one doing it.

Veemon continued to run like hell. Jimmy wished Jack was here.

...

Jack grumbled curses as he pedaled his bike down the street. After he had finished his burrito, he was hoping to hit the dump, but then his mom called and told him to check on Jimmy at the park. He could've said 'can do' and continue on to the dump regardless, but Jimmy has been known to tell on Jack on such occasions in the past. Damned if he was going to give that little brat ammunition. Besides, it would only take a minute. He'd pop in, see that Jimmy was okay, then pop out.

Jack parked his bike at the bike rack, along the brick wall surrounding the park, then chained it up so that no one would steal it. He walked through the park entrance and-

**IRON DRILL SPIN!**

"Somebody help me!" Veemon yelled as he ran into Jack's field of view with the Drimogemon from the day before chasing him, its drill spinning furiously.

"What the fuck..." Jack said as he watched the odd sight.

"Jack! Thank Azulongmon you're here!" Jimmy yelped as he rushed over. "That Drimogemon from yesterday is back and he's destroying the park!"

"I thought we were all in a silent agreement!" Jack yelped in reply. "We don't fuck with him, he doesn't fuck with us!"

"Well, CLEARLY, Drimogemon altered the deal. Pray he does not alter it further!" Jimmy yelped back.

"This deal's getting worse all the time..." Jack muttered under his breath. "Okay, what do we do?"

"Um...duh?" Jimmy said as he held out the digivice and cards. Jack groan-sighed.

"We've gone over this, Jim. I'm not a digi-what's-it." Jack pointed out.

"Yes you are." Jimmy said.

"No I'm not." Jack replied.

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

**IRON DRILL SPIN!**

"WILL YOU TWO HURRY UP AND DECIDE PLEASE?!" Veemon screamed as Drimogemon continued to chase him.

"Cool your junk, blue-boy! We're negotiating over here!" Jack yelled before turning back down to Jimmy. "Look, why do _I _have to be the tamer here?"

"Cuz YOU'RE the one who was chosen!" Jimmy said.

"By who?!" Jack demanded.

"Heck if I know! We've gone over this several times now! Nobody knows!" Jimmy shouted. "But whoever chose you, chose you! Not me, YOU!"

"Well, why not you?!" Jack yelled back.

"I've tried! Watch!" Jimmy said as he slashed a card through.

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**CERBURUMON ATTACK!**

Veemon continued to run from the Drimogemon, no sign of green fire forming around his mouth. Veemon ducked into a plastic play-tube for cover while Drimogemon tried to stick his drill in to get at him.

"See?!" Jimmy yelped.

"Well what the fuck am _I_ supposed to do?!" Jack demanded.

"What do ya _think_?!" Jimmy replied as he held up the deck and cards to Jack. The teenager hesitated to take them. He turned his head and saw Drimogemon really trying to work his drill into that tube to get at Veemon. Jack did _not _want to get involved in this. He had no business. This shouldn't be _his_ problem.

Unfortunately, it was at that moment that Drimogemon noticed Jack and Jimmy out of the corner of his eye, and then ripped his drill out of the tube. With a roar of territorial fury, he revved up his drill and charged at the two boys. Thinking quickly, Jack picked Jimmy up, tossing him over his shoulder, and started running, the giant mole digimon hot on their tails.

**VEE HEADBUTT!**

Veemon saved by the boys by launching himself at Drimogemon yet again. The mole snarled and clawed at the little blue dragon. After getting far enough away from the Drimogemon, Jack set Jimmy down. He looked back at his partner digimon battling the rampaging mole digimon.

Partner digimon. _His _partner digimon, like it or not. Jack sighed in resignation. Well, if no one else can do it...

"Fine. You win." Jack said as he took the cards and digivice from his little brother. "But for the record, I still have reservations about this whole 'digi-destiny' thing."

He paused.

"...These cards and the digivice are covered in sweat." Jack noted as he held them.

"There's a giant man-eating mole on the loose!" Jimmy barked. "I was scared! My palms get sweaty when I'm scared!"

"Whatever. Just stay here and stay out of sight." Jack grunted before running over to where Veemon was still fighting Drimogemon. Acting quickly, he slashed the black dog card through the digivice's card reader.

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**CERBURUMON ATTACK!**

Upon noticing green flames lapping out of his mouth, Veemon opened his mouth.

**EMERALD BLAZE!**

Veemon shot out a torrent of green flames at Drimogemon. The mole squeeled in shock and pain as it desperately tried to slap out the flames and embers on its face. "Yeah! I'm awesome again!" Veemon cheered.

Drimogemon simply growled and raised a paw.

**MOLE'S CLAW!**

He smacked Veemon with his paw, leaving deep cuts in the little dragon digimon as he flew through the air and landed in a bush.

"Hold on!" Jack yelled at his partner as he began sifting through the cards. He found the one he was looking for and slashed it through.

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**RECOVERY DISC ACTIVATE!**

Veemon leapt from the bushes, any gashes that Drimogemon dealt during the battle being all but gone. He stared down Drimogemon with a determined look in his eye. "Alright!" Jack said as he whipped out the Greymon card. "Time for the money shot!" He slashed the card through the digivice.

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**GREYMON ATTACK!**

Veemon opened his mouth to shoot a Nova Blast attack at Drimogemon...an attack that never came. "Huh?" Veemon asked.

"What the fuck?" Jack asked as he slashed the card through again.

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**GREYMON ATTACK!**

Veemon stood in front of Drimogemon, the latter waiting for the former to do something, apparently. "WHAT THE FUCK?!" Jack yelped as he began slashing the card over and over again.

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**GREYMON ATTACK!**

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**GREYMON ATTACK!**

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**GREYMON ATTACK!**

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**GREYMON ATTACK!**

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**GREYMON ATTACK!**

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**GREYMON ATTACK!**

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**GREYMON ATTACK!**

Veemon turned to Jack and shrugged helplessly. Drimogemon got tired of waiting and revved his drill back up.

**IRON DRILL SPIN!**

With a drill nose spinning at max speed, the mammalian digimon charged. Veemon had to leap out of the way to avoid Drimogemon's attack. The mole's drill nose slammed into a tree. He roared and snarled in anger as he tried to pull his drill out of the wood to no avail. It was stuck, which thankfully bought Jack enough time to deal with the current situation in his usual fashion.

"FUCK THIS CARD!" Jack yelled as he threw the Greymon card to the ground. He flipped through Jimmy's deck for another card. Blue wolf thing. This should work.

**DIGI-MODIFCATION:**

**GARURUMON ATTACK!**

Blue energy swirled around in Veemon's mouth. He opened it, aiming the attack at Drimogemon, still stuck in a tree.

**HOWLING BLASTER!**

A stream of blue flames shot out from Veemon's mouth, scoring a direct hit on Drimogemon, enveloping him in blue fire. When the attack subsided and the smoke cleared, the mole was left badly burned from the attack, patches of soot evident on his purple coat. He finally pulled his drill free of the tree and revved it up in fury.

"Let's hit 'em again!" Jack said as he slashed the Garurumon card again.

**DIGI-MODIFCATION:**

**GARURUMON ATTACK!**

"...Nope. Nuthin'." Veemon concluded after realizing that blue flames weren't swirling around in his mouth.

"Oh shit." Jack said as he began manically slicing the card through the reader.

**DIGI-MODIFCATION:**

**GARURUMON ATTACK!**

**DIGI-MODIFCATION:**

**GARURUMON ATTACK!**

**DIGI-MODIFCATION:**

**GARURUMON ATTACK!**

**DIGI-MODIFCATION:**

**GARURUMON ATTACK!**

**DIGI-MODIFCATION:**

**GARURUMON ATTACK!**

**DIGI-MODIFCATION:**

**GARURUMON ATTACK!**

**DIGI-MODIFCATION:**

**GARURUMON ATTACK!**

**DIGI-MODIFCATION:**

**GARURUMON ATTACK!**

"GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!" Jack swore as he threw the card to the ground. "Fuck these cards! Just headbutt him!" he yelled at Veemon.

"Can do!" Veemon yelled back before crouching low.

**VEE HEADBUTT!**

Veemon took off like a rocket and hit Drimogemon right between his eyes, the sound of their skulls colliding at high speed sounded akin to a car crash. As Veemon landed smoothly on the ground, Drimogemon gripped his forehead in pain.

"Come on!" Jack yelled. "Kick his ass!" In response, Veemon began swinging both of his arms in circles.

**VEE PUNCH!**

Veemon struck Drimogemon across the jaw with a mighty punch. Blood, saliva and a few teeth escaped the mole's mouth with great speed. The mole digimon snarled as it revved up its drill nose again.

"Hey wait a minute..." Jack muttered as an idea suddenly occurred to him. He then began to frantically thumb through the deck of cards until finding one with the symbol of a flexing muscular arm on it. "You'd better be fucking work..." he growled as he slashed the card through.

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**STRENGTH ACTIVATE!**

"Alright! Punch him again! Hard as you can!" Jack yelled at his partner. Veemon began swinging his arms in circles again, suddenly feeling a great surge of energy course through him. Drimogemon lunged with his drill while Veemon swung his arm up at the same time.

**IRON DRILL SPIN!**

**VEE PUNCH!**

Veemon's fist met Drimogemon's drill.

Drimogemon's drill lost.

"Holy shit." Jack said as he watched the spectacle unfold, almost in slow motion. Veemon jumped up as he swung his fist up, catching Drimogemon's drill at the bottom side. So powerful was the little digimon's punch that it broke off the top half of the drill completely, even as it spun. Since Veemon jumped up as he delivered the uppercut, he was still in the air, his other arm still swinging in a circle. As gravity began to drag the little blue dragon digimon back down to Earth, he brought that other fist down on Drimogemon's head.

**VEE PUNCH!**

Jack could hear a sickeningly wet crack as Veemon's fist impacted against Drimogemon's skull like it was the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs. The teenager even thought he saw some blood trickling from the mole's new head wound. Veemon landed in front of Drimogemon, who just stood there, dazed and silent. The mammal digimon's eyes then rolled into his skull as he collapsed in a heap on the ground, his body disintegrating from the point where Veemon struck his skull.

"...Okay, I'm not gonna lie, that was actually kind of awesome." Jack admitted.

"We did it Jack!" Veemon cheered as he ran over to his tamer. "We did it!" he leapt at the teenager, his arms wide open, ready to take him in a hug.

Jack stepped to one side. Veemon face-planted on the ground. "Yeah, I'm not doing that." Jack told the little digimon.

"Holy cow! That was awesome!" Jimmy said as he rushed up to Jack and Veemon while the latter picked himself up and dusted himself off. "See Jack? You really _are _a Dig-Destined!"

"The hell I am." Jack replied. He handed Jimmy the Greymon and Garurumon cards. "These cards are bogus. They didn't work."

"Really?" Jimmy asked as he took the cards from Jack and examined them closely. "The Greymon card worked just fine for you yesterday. And the Garurumon card worked perfectly the first time."

"Explain." Jack ordered.

"My best guess is that digimon cards have limited use. You can only use each card a certain number of times in each fight." Jimmy theorized. "If that's the case, you need to be more careful about which cards you use and when you use them. Save the heavy attack cards for emergency uses."

"...You're shitting me." Jack said. "What is this, a video game?"

"Well, digimon is short for _digital _monster." Jimmy pointed out.

"Oh my God..." Jack said as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Jack?"

Jack turned his head downwards. Veemon was by his side, looking up at him with hopeful eyes. "Does this mean that we're partners after all?"

"...Maybe." Jack replied. He turned to his little brother. "Come on, let's head home. Mom's probably getting worried about you."

He then turned to his partner digimon. "And it looks like you and me have a few things we need to discuss."

...

"Oooooh. So this is your room." Veemon said as Jack let him into his bedroom. "Sure is different from Jimmy's."

Indeed it was. While Jimmy's room was covered in digimon memorabilia, Jack's room had nothing of the sort. Jack's bed sat against the left wall, a combination stereo / alarm clock on the nightstand by it. Against the right wall was a dresser and a desk, the latter of which having all manner of junk on it including a lamp, a few papers, and a few stacks of CD's. Next to the entrance of Jack's room was a wall closet that ran the length of that wall, where various coats, shoes and other clothes were stored. On the wall opposite the closet was a window that looked out on the street outside. Finally, there were a few posters on the wall above the desk and dresser depicting very strange humans. One was holding a bat and another had a bloody nose. The other two pictures each had a whole gaggle of humans standing around. They were labeled 'Disturbed,' 'W.K.,' 'Ozzy,' and 'Dragonforce.'

"So." Jack began as he picked up Veemon and placed him on the bed. He then took a seat on the bed himself next to his partner digimon. "You and me are...partners now, huh?

"Sure looks that way." Veemon replied. The little digimon's feet hung from the edge of the bed, swinging idly.

"Which means I'm gonna be...fighting monsters for a while." Jack said. "Ogres and mole things and God only knows what else is coming."

"Yup." Veemon replied with a nod. Jack sighed.

"Look...I'm fourteen. I'm not capable of handling this shit." Jack said in an apologetic tone. "Whoever paired you up with me got the wrong guy."

"What makes you say that?" Veemon asked as he tilted his head curiously. "Drimogemon would've beat me for sure if you hadn't showed up."

"Well yeah, but I got lucky." Jack argued. He pulled out his digivice. "Shit, I don't even know how this thing works. And I'm supposed to use it to...what? Fight evil?"

"Basically." Veemon said with a shrug.

Jack groaned as he facepalmed. "Great. My life is now a shitty saturday morning anime. I don't believe this."

"Why not?" Veemon asked.

"Cuz you're a motherfucking digimon!" Jack exasperatingly replied. "You're not supposed to be real! You're supposed a subsidy of Bandai! Nothing more!"

"...Wait. If I don't exist, then why am I here?" the little dragon asked.

"I dunno! You tell me!" Jack exclaimed.

"I dunno either!" Veemon exclaimed back.

The two of them were silent for a moment. They each took a deep breath to try and calm themselves, in unison, oddly enough. "Hey Veemon."

"Yeah?"

"Do you _want _to be my partner?"

"Sure I do."

"Why?"

"I dunno." Veemon shrugged. "I guess it's because I'm _supposed _to be your partner."

"How do you know _that?_" Jack probed. "How do you know you got the right guy?"

"I dunno." Veemon shrugged again. "I just do."

Jack groaned as he massaged his forehead. "You are _really _not helping me figure this out."

"Why do you _want _to figure it out so bad?" Veemon asked. Jack turned his head to the digimon and stared at him with a raised eyebrow. The dragon digimon just smiled brightly at the teenager. "Know what your problem is, Jack? You question things too much. Ever since I got here, all I've been hearing is 'how this' and 'why that.' You just gotta trust me, Jack. I'm your partner. You're my tamer. I can't really explain how or why, but that's just how it is. And that's just how it's supposed to be."

Veemon stood up on the bed and raised his fists, a little fire seeming to light up in his eyes. "Besides, we beat Ogremon! We beat Drimogemon! That's two for two, buddy! If you ask me, I'd say you've been a pretty darn good tamer so far! There's more where those guys came from, but as long as we stick together, we can take on anything!"

Veemon thrust out an open hand. "So whaddya say? Partners?"

Jack looked at the digimon's outstretched hand for a few seconds, analyzing it. He then sighed in resignation. "Well, if more pissed off monsters are on the way, then I don't really have a choice, do I?" Jack asked as he took Veemon's hands and shook it. "Alright. Partners."

The teen then stood up off the bed and walked in front of Veemon with his arms crossed over his chest, trying to give the impression of authority. "But if you and me are going to be partners, we need to lay down a few ground rules. Number one: no hugs. I don't _do _hugs."

"Okay." Veemon replied as his shoulders sagged in disappointment.

"Number two: you are not, under any circumstances, to reveal your existence to my parents. I can already tell that this wouldn't sit well with them. Number three: do not, under _any _circumstances, touch my CD's." Jack gestured to the stack of CD's on the desk. "If I find out you scratched any of them, I'll knock you out with chloroform, give you a fine pair of cement shoes, and then toss you in the Hudson."

"Um...Kay." Veemon nervously replied with a gulp.

"Number four: _keep quiet. _No 'yahoo's,' 'wahoo's,' or any other hoo's of that nature. They are A: loud and could alert my parents to your existence, and B: they're fucking annoying." Jack said. "And finally, rule number five: Ozzy Osbourne, Lemmy Kilmister, Andrew W.K., Sully Erna, Rob Zombie, Mr. Lordi, ZP Theart, and David Draiman."

"Who are those guys?" Veemon asked.

"Now that you're living under my roof, they're your _personal lords and saviors, _THAT'S who they are!" Jack replied. "So. Any questions?"

"Can I sleep in here from now on?!" Veemon asked excitedly.

"...Sure, fuck, why not." Jack replied with a roll of his eyes. "I'm gonna have an annoying roommate in college anyway. Might as well train for that."

"Yaho - I mean - Awesome!" Veemon cheered, remembering rule number four. He then looked around the room. "Uh, where do I sleep?" he asked.

"Shit. Um..." Jack looked around the room, trying to figure out a place for Veemon to sleep. His bedroom wasn't really made for two. He looked at the closet and smiled. "Bingo."

Jack then grabbed Veemon by the tail and unceremoniously dropped him into the closet and sliding the door shut. "Welcome to you new home, little buddy." Jack said.

"It's dark in here." Veemon noted.

With a roll of his eyes, Jack opened a drawer in the dresser and fished out a small flashlight. He opened the closet door, gave it to Veemon, then closed it again. "There, you have a light source. Now quit being a pussy." Jack said.

"Jack! Dinner!" Jack's mother cried out.

"Welp, that's my cue to leave. I'll try to bring you back something." Jack said as he walked out of the room.

Veemon sat quietly in the dark closet, the flashlight being the only source of illumination. He smiled. "This really _is _the beginning of a beautiful partnership!" he beamed.

...

**So it looks like Jack has finally accepted his destiny as a tamer! But it looks like he's still got a thing or two to learn. Can he learn them before another rampaging digimon shows up?**

**Find out next time on an all new DIGIDORKS: DIGITAL LOSERS**


	7. A Public Service Announcement

**Hey guys! What's up? No new chapter I'm afraid; just an announcement of sorts.**

**As you all know, this fanfic takes place in New York City. Why? Well, I just figured it would be a cool place for monsters and demons from a computer-based dimension to tango with one another. I'm no resident of New York City though; I've only been there like three or four times in my life I think. Still, I've done enough research on New York's layout and culture to be fairly confidant about how I would portray Jack, Jimmy and the rest of the tamers I'll eventually introduce to this story when I get around to it. Yes sir, it felt good to finally get the first few chapters of this fic out and New York City was the perfect setting for it.**

**Then Hurricane Sandy showed up. Awesome timing on my part, huh?**

**So let me start off by saying that all our prayers go out to those still living in darkness. But hang tough. If Osama Bin Laden couldn't take you guys down, I doubt a little wind and rain can. But to any who may be reading this, NYC and the rest of the eastern sea board could still use your help. Go to to find out how you can help. And if you've got ten bucks to spare, donate it by texting REDCROSS to 90999. And yes, that IS a real text-based charity drive. Stephen Colbert said so, and since I'm pretty sure he's a Time Lord, I'm inclined to believe him.**

**Big props go to both Barack Obama and Mitt Romney for suspending their campaigns and putting politics aside, if only until Tuesday, to help out east-coasters. Obama is coordinating federal relief efforts while Romney turned his scheduled campaign rallies in Ohio into relief rallies. Michael Bloomburg and Chris Christie also deserve huge props for staying on top of recovery for NYC and New Jersey respectively. Here's to leaders acting like leaders.**

**...There's going to be a political debate in the reviews now, I just know it.**

**Finally, how does all this affect my fanfic? Will Hurricane Sandy be hitting Jack and Jimmy pretty soon? Most likely. To just carry on with this NY-based fanfic and pretend that Hurricane Sandy never happened would feel like an insult to those affected by this national tragedy. Sandy is the worst storm to hit the U.S. since Hurricane Katrina; that's not something I'm just going to sweep under the rug. However, the current timeline of the fanfic is early-to-mid September, Jack being about a week from entering High School, so he and Veemon won't have to deal with Sandy for a while.**

**We'll see what the future has in store for this pet project of mine. In the meantime, keep the east coast in your prayers dear readers. Peace out**


	8. EP4: Ancient Dino Rumble

**Well so much for "may or may not be updated more frequently than the Last Spartan." Definitely "may not" in this case.**

**Anyway, this "episode," I'm gonna try something different.**

**See, my original planned format was to split each episode into two "parts." The break between these parts would simulate commercial breaks, just like with the old TV show, and the parts would be updated one right after another. One day I'd post part one, and I'd post pard two the very next day, sometimes even within the same day of the first.**

**But now I'm wondering if this format might be throwing some readers off since, as a result of this format, some chapters are going without any reviews at all.**

**So, instead of chopping it up into two parts, I'm gonna try giving you this episode in one big chunk. Lemme know via reviews and / or PM's which format you prefer!**

**And now, without further ado, a chapter that will horribly offend my African-American readers!**

...

Jack's ears fidgeted at the faint sound of a thrumming guitar, slowly building in intensity. By the time the drums, symbols and tribal drums rang out, Jack's eyes began to open.

_Revolution in their minds,_

_The children start to march,_

_Against the world in which they have to live,_

_And all the hate that's in their hearts._

_They're tired of being pushed around_

_And told just what to do!_

_They'll fight the world until they've won,_

_And love comes flowing through, yeah!_

It was Jack's cell phone, and he recognized the ringtone. He grabbed the phone from the nightstand by his bed and flipped it open. "Tibe?" he asked as he put it to his ear.

"Sup, man." the other voice, Tibe's, came.

"You're back?" Jack asked as he sat up.

"Since yesterday, yeah." Tibe replied.

"Yesterday? Shit man, shoulda told me." Jack cheerfully said. After all that had been happening for the last couple of days, Jack needed to hear a friendly voice. "So how was military school?"

"Meh. Lots of running laps and havin' old dudes yell at ya. Kinda like Full Metal Jacket, but not as much swearing." Tibe explained. "Thankfully, I didn't go Gomer Pile on that place."

"You mean you didn't shoot your drill instructor in the gut? Dude. Weak." Jack said. It was at that point that Veemon emerged from the closet, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Jack, who are you talking to?" The little digimon groggily said, apparently not appreciating being woken up.

"Hold up a minute, Tibe." Jack said before he got up off the bed, grabbed Veemon by the ears and then stuffed him back in the closet. He slid the door shut and locked it, and then leaned against it. "And I'm back." Jack said as he held his cell phone back up to his ear.

Veemon began banging against the door in a panic. "Jack! Let me out!"

"Er, what's goin' on?" Tibe asked, hearing the ruckus Veemon was making.

"Oh, you know, just Jimmy wanting in my room again." Jack quickly explained before turning to the closet door. "Keep banging all you want, Jimmy! You're not getting in!" he shouted in an attempt to sell the story.

"I'm not Jimmy! I'm Veemon!" The digimon inside protested. "I'm your partner digimon! Not your little brother! I don't know why you'd think I was Jimmy but I'm not Jimmy!"

"….Did he just say he wasn't Jimmy?" Tibe asked over the phone. "And….Vee-what?"

After silently hissing out a curse, Jack tried to think of something. "Uh, Jimmy said...vee...nus. Venus. He's having trouble with his astronomy homework." Jack turned to the closet door. "Astronomy's not my forte', Jim! Go bug Mom!"

"Astronomy has nothing to do with my current predicament whatsoever of being trapped in a closet and I AM ALSO NOT JIMMY!" Veemon exasperatingly exclaimed.

Grunting out another curse, Jimmy slid the closet door open, grabbed a dirty t-shirt and crammed into Veemon's mouth as far as it would go. Distressed by the sudden lack of air, Veemon began to run around Jack's room like a chicken with its head chopped off. Jack then stomped on Veemon's tail, pinning the little dragon in place.

"So, I take it you wanna meet up later to celebrate your newfound freedom?" Jack casually asked as Veemon's face turned purple and tears welled up in his eyes as he gagged on Jack's sweaty gym shirt.

"Something like that." Tibe answered. "Can you meet me in the dump? Usual spot? There's something I think I need to tell ya."

"Sure thing, Tibe. What time?" Jack asked.

"Let's say around two." Tibe said. Jack turned to the alarm clock past his bed and saw that it was a quarter past eleven.

"Sounds good. See you then." Tibe said before he hung up. By that point, Veemon had stopped running around and had collapsed onto the floor, unconscious from lack of oxygen. With one foot, Jack flipped his partner digimon onto his back. He then stomped on Veemon's belly with all his strength. The force of the stomp was enough to make Veemon spit up the gym shirt that was lodged in his throat. Color returned to the little digimon's face as he gasped, finally getting precious air into his lungs.

"Eugh." Jack groaned as he picked up the gym shirt. "Now I'm gonna have to wash this thing _twice._"

"Who...was...that?" Veemon wheezed.

"Tibe. He's my nigga." Jack answered as he walked over to his closet.

"Oh." Veemon said. "...What's a nigga?"

Jack sighed at that. "I have _much_ to teach you about the Human world, it would seem."

Jack reached into the closet and started pulling out a few things. He took off his white t-shirt and replaced it with one that was dark blue. He grabbed a pair of hiking boots and put them on the floor next to Veemon, who curiously observed them. He took out an empty duffel bag and a backpack, and threw the former onto the bed. He took out an aluminum baseball bat and stuffed it into his backpack, followed by a pair of cut-resistant gloves. Finally, he took out a pair of goggles and stuffed those into the backpack too.

Jack then moved to the dresser. He opened the drawer and pulled out three different kinds of flashlights; a mag-light, a compact, and even a military flash-light with a bendable head, and stuffed them into his backpack along with the bat.

"Whatcha doin'?" Veemon asked as his tamer moved to the bed to put on the hiking boots.

"Gearing up." Jack answered.

"Oooooh." Veemon replied, impressed with the fancy term. "...Gearing up for what?"

"Junking." Jack answered.

"Oooooh." Veemon replied, impressed with the fancy term. "...What's junking?"

"It's how I'm able to afford so many Black Sabbath CD's." Jack deadpanned in response. With that, he finished tying his boots good and tight and stood up. He slung the backpack onto his back and the duffel bag under his shoulder. "I'm gonna go meet Tibe at the dump."

"Can I come?" Veemon asked.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Rule number two."

"Tibe is one of your parents?"

Jack turned and looked at Veemon. "...Whoever laid the egg you hatched from smoked a lot of pot, didn't they?"

"What's a pot?" Veemon asked.

"I'll take that as a yes." Jack said. "Stay in the closet. Don't make any noise." he added before leaving the room.

...

Even after having some breakfast at IHOP, Jack still had a couple of hours to kill before having to meet up with Tibe at the dump, so he decided to make a stop at the computer repair store that was conveniently on the way.

He stuck to the alleys as he approached the store so that he wouldn't be seen. He eventually arrived at the entrance to an alleyway where he could watch the front of the store from down the street. Keeping an eye out for cops or nosy bystanders, he waited.

After a while, he grunted and checked his watch. "Come on, you're five minutes late." he muttered to himself. After a couple more minutes went by, the two guys who ran the place _finally _came out, got in their car, and drove off. Double-checking that no one was looking, Jack exited the alley and walked in front of the store as casually as he could. As he walked by, he saw the sign in the glass window.

_Out to Lunch. Back at 1:30 pm._

Jack smirked. He kept on walking and entered another alleyway and looped around to the back of the store. He arrived at the dumpster behind the store and opened the lid, already smiling with greed. He fished his gloves and goggles from his backpack and put them on. He then pulled his military flashlight and baseball bat out of the backpack. He shone the inside the dumpster so he could get a better look at all the goodies inside, using the bat as a probe to move things out of the way as well as check to make sure there wasn't any broken glass inside.

Old computers were still good even though their previous owners didn't want them. Unfortunately, most of them were too big to fit in Jack's duffel bag. Plus, Jack had to make it a point not to get too greedy here and stuff his goodie bag full. Tibe probably wanted to meet at the dump so they could go junking together, and Jack would need room in his bag for that. So he simply lifted three intact processors from the dumpster and left it at that. Dexter could clean them up later.

He checked his watch. 12:40. It should take about almost an hour to get to the dump on foot. He'd meet Tibe there on time.

...

Given their primary source of income, the Bronx Dump was Tibe and Jack's official hangout. It was a place where they could talk about stuff while rifling through garbage for anything of value. Sometimes Dexter and Jessica hung out with them there too, though they don't junk. Jack proceeded to their usual meeting spot; a 'valley' of sorts amongst the mountains of garbage and waste where there was a musty old couch. Jack's plan was to wait for Tibe there and maybe nap in the meantime but, surprisingly, Tibe was already there.

While Jack was caucasian, specifically a mix of Irish and Italian ethnicity, Tiberius "Tibe" Peterson was African-American. He wore a white sleaveless shirt that exposed strong-looking arm muscles and he also wore a baggy pair of camo pants. The muscles and the pants were likely mementos from the summer he spent in military school, as were the dogtags that hanged from his neck. Even more surprisingly, Tibe's little sister was also there. She was only ten-years-old, same age as Jimmy. She wore a sweater and jeans, and she kept her long black hair in a ponytail. He smiled as he approached Jack, who smiled back in turn.

"Sup my cracka." Tibe said as he initiated the fist-bump.

"All good my nigga." Jack replied. The two had been best friends for so long, Jack had earned nigga privileges a long time ago. Jack turned towards Tibe's little sister, then back to Tibe. "What's Cassy doing here?"

"Mom told me to watch her while she was at work, so I had to bring her with me." Tibe replied with a shrug. "Which means no cussing in front of her, alright?"

"I promise nothing." Jack replied.

"Hi Jack." Cassy greeted with a wave. "Jimmy with you?"

"Nope. Sorry." Jack said with a shrug. Cassy pouted at that.

It was then that Jack took off his backpack and started taking things out. "Okay. Gear up. Let's see what ill-gotten treasures we can find today."

"Actually Jack, I didn't really bring any of my gear today." Tibe confessed. "I didn't invite you here to go junking."

Jack was about to put on his goggles when Tibe said all that. "What do you mean?" he asked, leaving his goggles on his forehead.

"It's kinda complicated." Tibe said as he nervously scratched the back of his head. "See...while I was upstate this summer, my platoon and I went out on a field exercise. Wilderness survival. I got myself lost and...I found something."

"What did you find?" Jack asked.

"...Before I show you, you gotta promise not to freak out, alright?" Tibe said.

Jack rolled his eyes. "Oh come on. It can't be _that _bad."

"You'd be surprised." Tibe said as he walked over to a cardboard box on the ground that Jack had only noticed at that particular moment. For some mysterious reason, Cassy suddenly put on a wide, excited grin. Tibe lifted up the box, revealing a pile of grey, ordinary rocks. Jack just stood there with a raised eyebrow.

"Soooo...what-"

The rocks then began to move.

They shook and shifted, turning from a simple pile of rocks into a more defined form. Specifically, a small bipedal form. A pair of big wide yellow eyes opened and stared at Jack.

"Hi there!"

"JESUS H. FUCK!" Jack yelped as he jumped back and landed on his ass.

...

**GOTSUMON**

**データの種類**

**ルーキーレベル**

**スペシャルアタック****- ****ロックの拳**

**Meet Tibe's partner digimon! Gotsumon is an odd little digimon made entirely out of rocks. He's cheerful and laid back, but he won't back down from a fight! His Rock Fist attack is sure to leave a mark if you get on his bad side!**

...

"Christ's sake, Jack!" Tibe shouted as he covered Cassy's ears. "I said no cussing in front of my sister!"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?!"

"And you're still cussing."

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?!"

"Eeeyup."

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?!"

"Is he-"

"Give him a minute." Tibe interrupted Gotsumon. The three of them patiently waited for Jack to cease his freakout. "You done?" Tibe asked. Jack slowly nodded. "Alright." he said as he let go of Cassy's ears. "This is Gotsumon. I found him while I was lost in that wilderness survival exercise."

"Wait a minute." Jack said. "Gotsu_mon_?"

"Yeah, that's his name. He's been-"

"That thing's a _digimon_?" Jack asked. Tibe looked surprised at that last question.

"Er, yeah. How'd you know?" Tibe asked.

It was then that the four of them heard a loud yelp, followed by a series of clangs and crashes. They all turned to find a little person tumbling down a hill of trash and landing in the valley with them. The little person was dressed from head to toe in clothes so big that they seemed to cover every inch of their body. He was followed by, of all people, Jimmy. Jimmy carefully walked his way down the hill, in contrast to his clumsier companion. "Sup, Jack." Jimmy greeted.

"Jimmy?!" Jack yelped. "The hell are you doing here?"

"Veemon and I followed you!" Jimmy enthusiastically said. It was then that the little person removed the large beanie hat and huge scarf that obscured his face, revealing...

"Hiya Jack!" Veemon all but shouted.

"Oh dear God no." Jack said. "I told you to stay in my closet!"

"...He lives in your closet?" Tibe asked.

"Long story." Jack replied.

"You have Jimmy to thank for that, Jack!" Veemon excitedly explained. "He said that if I could just disguise myself with really big clothes, I'll be able to walk around in public without anyone seeing me! Don't worry, partner! No one suspects a thing!"

"So basically, _doing the polar opposite of what I told you to do_ was Jimmy's idea?" Jack asked.

"You betcha!" Veemon obliviously answered.

"...Jimmy, remind me to strangle you with my bootlaces when we get home." Jack threatened his little brother.

Veemon hopped up to Tibe and extended his hand. "My name is Veemon! But you can just call me Veemon! You must be Tibe, one of Jack's parents!"

"...What?" Tibe asked.

"Say, where'd Cassy go?" Gotsumon asked, noticing that Tibe's little sister was nowhere to be found.

"Jiiiiiimmmmyyyyyy."

Until that moment, that is.

Jimmy snapped his head over his shoulder and noticed Cassy _standing right there_, giving him the googly eyes.

A few silent seconds passed by.

Jimmy then bolted like a rabid hyena was chasing him.

"You can't escape my love, Jimmy!" Cassy yelled as she gave chase.

"YOU STAY AWAY FROM ME DEVIL WOMAN!" Jimmy yelled back.

...

As Cassy chased Jimmy up and down the dump, with Veemon and Gotsumon having joined in the chase as well, under the impression that Jimmy and Cassy were playing some kind of game, Jack and Tibe sat on the couch, watching them run.

"Soooo..." Jack began, breaking the awkward silence that had fallen on the couch. "You were saying about Gotsumon?"

"Yeah." Tibe replied. He reached into his pocket. "It all began when this thing showed up in my backpack along with the rest of my usual gear one day." He then pulled a digivice out of his pocket. Jack noted that it looked to be exactly the same as his own digivice. "A few days later, we went out on that exercise I mentioned earlier. I got lost. Then this thing turned on and started leading me somewhere. Thought that maybe it was a compass or something and it'd get me back to base. Led me to a cave instead where there was an egg. I picked it up, it glowed, flashed, and next thing I know, the egg got a hell of a lot heavier on account of turning into a little person made of rocks."

"Same thing here." Jack said with a shrug. "Found Veemon as an egg in an alleyway a few days ago."

"No shit?" Tibe asked.

"No shit." Jack said with a shake of his head. "Fought off two other digimon since then."

"Wait...other digimon?" Tibe asked.

"Yeah, you know." Jack began. "The ones that show up out of those big, flashy portals and your partner digimon has to fight them?"

"Um...yeah. That hasn't happened to me yet." Tibe said.

"...Are you shitting me?!" Jack yelped. "You've had your partner for a whole damn month and got zero action whereas my bouncing baby blue lizard-thing isn't even a week old yet and I already had two fuck-off monsters wanting a piece of me?! What the fuck?! Why do all the digimon have such a raging murder-boner for _me_?!"

"Must be your charming personality." Tibe replied.

"Fuck you, Tiberius." Jack growled. Tibe only chuckled at that.

Cassy then began walking up to the couch and wearily took a seat between Jack and Tibe. She was panting heavily. "Man...Jimmy...runs...fast..."

"Yeah, that he does." Jack said. "Your sister knows about Gotsumon?" he asked Tibe.

"She found him hiding in my duffel bag yesterday after I came home." Tibe explained. "It's cool though. She's promised not to tell my Mom about him."

"Yeah." Cassy said as soon as she was able to catch her breath. "I know Mom will freak out if she finds out that Tibe's got a rock monster living in his room, so I won't tell her. And I won't tell anyone about Veemon either." she promised.

"Thanks for that, Cass." Jack said.

"So Jack, tell me more about these portals." Tibe said.

"Not much more to say, really." Jack replied with a shrug. "They pop out of nowhere and big scary monsters crawl out of 'em."

"Well, what do the portals look like?" Tibe asked.

"I don't know. Never really got a good look at one." Jack said. "But trust me, you'll know when a portal opens because there's always this bright white light that blinds you right in the eye."

***FLASH!***

"YEAH! THAT!" Jack yelled. "JUST LIKE THAT!"

"WHAT THE CHRIST?!" Tibe yelled as well.

After several blinding seconds, the white light suddenly faded, as did the typical sounds of a digital portal opening; howling winds, computer beeping, etc. etc. Jack, Tibe and Cassy all looked behind the couch where the portal spawned.

And then up.

And up.

And up.

The most immediately noticeable feature this digimon had was size. It was nearly thirty feet feet tall, easily the biggest digimon Jack had seen emerge from a portal yet. It looked like a great big dinosaur, specifically an overweight T-rex. It had blazing red scales, green spines running the length of its back, huge white claws on its hands and equally huge shining white teeth.

It looked down on the New Yorkers and smiled a big, toothy, evil-looking grin.

...

**TYRANNOMON**

**データの種類**

**チャンピオンレベル**

**特殊攻撃****- ****ブレイズブラスト**

**Tyrannomon is a fierce dinosaur digimon with big teeth and an appetite to match! Even for a champion level, it's extremely powerfffffttttt-HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm sorry, I couldn't finish that sentence with a straight face. Truth is, Tyrannomon's just a poor man's Greymon. Always has been, always will be. He has an inferiority complex as a result, and likes to take it out on others, including small, bite-sized children.**

...

Tyrannomon roared at the children below. The dinosaur digimon reared its head back.

"MOVE!" Tibe yelled as he grabbed Cassy and ran off, Jack close behind. Just in time, as Tyrannomon's jaws clamped down on the couch just a second later. Frustrated that it grabbed no meat, the dinosaur threw the couch away and roared as it chased after them.

"I CALL BULLSHIT!" Jack shouted as he ran. "THE LAST TWO WERE _NOT _THIS FUCKING BIG!"

"I SAID NO CUSSING IN FRONT OF MY SISTER!" Tibe scolded.

"WE'RE BEING CHASED BY A FUCKING T. REX! STANDARD OPERATING PROCEDURE NO LONGER APPLIES, MOTHERFUCKER!" Jack pointed out.

Tyrannomon roared as it began to close the distance, drool already dripping from its mouth in anticipation of a meal.

**VEE HEADBUTT!**

It was then that Veemon suddenly appeared, flying through the air like a bullet and striking Tyrannomon right on the nose. Veemon then grabbed hold of the great dinosaur's muzzle as as the dinosaur tried to shake the little holy dragon off.

Feeling like they could slow down for a minute, Jack, Tibe and Cassy saw Jimmy and Gotsumon approach. The former came up to meet them while Gotsumon joined in the fray.

**ROCK FIST!**

Gotsumon thrust out a fist, which suddenly launched off and hit Tyrannomon square in the chest, exploding on impact. Gotsumon's fist then regenerated in a swarm of pixels as the ore digimon ran to a different position to get a better firing angle.

"Tyrannomon!" Jimmy yelled. "Dinosaur digimon, and a powerful one at that! Well, not as powerful as Greymon, but still pretty tough to beat!"

"Where'd you come from?" Tibe asked.

"Me and Gotsumon and Veemon ran over as soon as we heard a roar! I thought it was another rogue digimon and I was right!" Jimmy explained.

"My hero boyfriend!" Cassy cried out as she leapt out of Tibe's arms and took Jimmy in a big hug.

"I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!" Jimmy yelled out.

"Jimmy, I never thought I'd say this, but _please _tell me you have some digimon cards on you!" Jack pleaded.

"I never leave home without my custom deck!" Jimmy replied. After struggling out of Cassy's hug, Jimmy pulled out his deck of digimon cards. He split it in half and handed each half to Jack and Tibe.

"Okay. You and Cassy hide somewhere safe." Jack ordered his little brother. He turned to Tibe. "Let's move." With that, he took off with Tibe right behind him

The two teens found that the battle situation hadn't changed much. Veemon was still holding on to Tyrannomon's muzzle for dear life while Gotsumon was strafing around the great beast taking pot shots at it.

"Okay, what do we got, what do we got, what do we got..." Jack silently said to himself as he shuffled through Jimmy's cards. He found a card with a green bug monster on it that had stupidly huge scythes for hands.

That's when Jack got an idea.

He slashed the card through.

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**SNIMON SICKLES ACTIVATE!**

With that, Veemon's hands suddenly turned into big sickles. Thinking quickly, he dug his new weapons into the dinosaur's nose. Tyrannomon roared in pain and this and tried to shake the little dragon off with a new, desperate vigor.

"Woah." Tibe said. "So, what, you just slip the cards through these slots and your digimon gets new powers?"

"Yeah, that's how they work." Jack answered.

"I wondered what these slots were for." Tibe said as he flipped through his cards and found one with a menacing looking robot on it. Believing that that would be a good card, he sliced it through.

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**ANDROMON ATTACK ACTIVATE!**

Gotsumon's arm suddenly turned from mineral to robotic. His new robotic hand began spinning around faster and faster until it formed a drill. The rock digimon held it aloft.

**LIGHTNING BLADE!**

With one mighty swing, he brought the spinning drill hand down, firing an electrical blade of energy at Tyrannomon. It impacted against his arm, giving the dinosaur a huge gash. The dinosaur roared in even more pain as blood dripped from the wound.

Furious and in pain, Tyrannomon finally bucked Veemon off its snout. The little blue dragon sailed through the air and landed on top of Gotsumon. Both of their digi-modifications disintegrated into pixels upon impact. Tyrannomon stood over the two tiny rookies ominously, flames licking at its lips.

"Veemon, run like hell!" Jack yelled.

"Gotsumon! Double-time it out of there!" Tibe yelled.

Both digimon obeyed their tamers' commands and proceeded to run away from the dinosaur

**BLAZE BLAST!**

A huge torrent of flame erupted from Tyrannomon's mouth and impacted against the ground. The dinosaur digimon turned his head to chase his two targets with his flames. The two digimon ducked behind a ruined minivan, which helped shield them from the ferocious attack.

"What the hell?! Gotsumon had a robot arm a minute ago, what happened?!" Tibe demanded.

"The cards only work for a limited time, far as I can tell!" Jack answered.

"Well let's start up the clock again!" Tibe said as he sliced the Andromon card through again.

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**ANDROMON ATTACK ACTIVATE!**

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Yeeeaaaah, the cards don't always work either." Jack slowly said as absolutely nothing happened.

"...Mike foxtrotting sierra." Tibe muttered.

"What?"

"NATO phonetic swearing. Learned it in boot camp."

Meanwhile, Tyrannomon raised his claws high into the air.

**SLASH CLAW!**

He brought his claws down, ripping the old mini-van into shreds, destroying what little cover the two digimon had.

"Gotsumon! Veemon! Scatter!" Tibe yelled.

With that, Gotsumon began running in one direction, Veemon hot on his heels.

"Scatter means run AWAY from your ally, you little blue retard!" Jack yelled at his digimon.

"Okay!" Veemon yelled back as he began running in a different direction from Gotsumon. Torn between targets, Tyrannomon decided to chase Veemon rather than Gotsumon.

"So how's the fight going?" Jimmy asked as he jogged up to the two teens.

"Badly." Jack replied. He paused. "Wait a minute. Jimmy!" he snapped as he turned to his younger brother. "What the hell are you doing?! You're supposed to be hiding!"

"What, and miss a good digimon battle? You don't know me very well, do you?" Jimmy asked.

"Wait, where's Cassy?" Tibe asked.

"Don't worry, she's still in that hiding spot we found." Jimmy assured him.

"And where's that?" Tibe asked.

"Way over there." Jimmy said as he pointed in the relevant direction. "Same way that...Tyrannomon's...going...uh-oh."

"Oh _foxtrot no._" Tibe cursed as he took off running after Tyrannomon.

...

Veemon ran for everything his little legs were worth, desperate to get away from the mesozoic monstrosity chasing him. It was then that Veemon noticed that he was fast approaching an enormous hill of trash. Unless he changed direction, he'd be trapped between trash and Tyrannomon's teeth.

Unless...

A brilliant idea popping into his little digi-brain, Veemon kept running forward. When he got close enough to the hill, he jumped. He moved like a frog, leaping from one piece of scrap or junk to the other, up and up and up. When he reached a sheet of metal sticking out of the hill that was level with Tyrannomon's head, Veemon leapt off and towards the dinosaur's face.

**VEE PUNCH!**

Veemon punched Tyrannomon right on the nose with all his strength. The dinosaur digimon clutched its nose in pain as Veemon landed on the ground, landing on his feet. After shaking off the pain, the theropod glared at the little dragon digimon before him.

"...Huh." Veemon said. "I just realized I didn't really have a plan past this point."

...

...

...

...

...

**BLAZE BLAST!**

"Oh boy!" Veemon yelped as he began running again, trying desperately to run away from Tyrannomon's flames.

…

"There they are!" Tibe shouted as the group found Tyrannomon, still trying to roast Veemon to a crisp. Tibe turned to Jimmy. "Where's Cassy?"

"Up there!" Jimmy shouted, pointing to an old van sitting atop a large hill of junk and trash. "She's in that van!"

"Alright." Tibe replied. He held the digivice up to his mouth as he pressed a button. "Gotsumon, you there?"

"Copy that, Tibe!" Gotsumon's voice replied over the digivice. "I've got a visual on Tyrannomon, over!"

"Good. Engage. Give Veemon some backup. I'm gonna go get Cassy and get her out. Try and direct Tyrannomon _away _from my position."

"Can do!" Gotsumon replied.

"Wait a minute, we can use these things as walk-talkies?" Jack asked as he held up his digivice.

"Yeah." Tibe said. "Just gotta hold down the left shoulder." Tibe then held up his digivice and squeezed the left 'shoulder' of the digital device as a demonstration.

"That's a button?!" Jack yelped. "That wasn't clearly labeled as a button!" He glared at his own digivice. "Who the fuck designed these things?! Nintendo?!"

It was then that Gotsumon appeared from behind a pile of trash, charging into the battle. As Gotsumon rushed into the brawl, Tibe ran off towards the mountain of trash where his little sister was hiding.

Gotsumon ran over to where Tyrannomon was chasing Veemon, still trying to barbecue the little dragon. Gotsumon raised his fist, pointing it at the dinosaur digimon.

**ROCK FIST!**

The fist fired off like a rocket, exploding on impact with the side of Tyrannomon's head, earning a high-pitched roar of pain from the behemoth. It turned toward the little ore digimon, shooting a hateful glare and a snarl at him. "Come and get me you big red foxtrotter!" Gotsumon yelled at the dinosaur, using a word that Tibe had taught him a week ago. Tyrannomon roared in response and gave chase. Veemon, chased after the dinosaur digimon, believing that Gotsumon could use backup.

"Stay here." Jack ordered Jimmy before taking off after Veemon.

Jimmy waited patiently for Jack to run out of sight. Then chuckled to himself. "Like I'd miss a minute of this." he muttered before giving chase.

Meanwhile, Tibe scaled the huge hill of trash and junk. Years of dumpster-diving and months in military school served the teenager well as he scaled the massive pile's heights and hazards. With practiced ease, he quickly climbed up, avoiding sharp metal edges and broken glass to the old van where Cassy was hiding. The van was embedded into the mountain front first and at an angle, leaving the rear end of the vehicle sticking up in the air slightly. Tibe opened the van's rear doors and climbed in.

He slowly walked down to the driver's half of the van to find Cassy sitting in the front passenger's seat, hugging her legs to her chest. She looked up to Tibe as he entered the vehicle. "Is it safe?" she asked.

"Nah." Tibe replied with a shake of his head. "Tyrannomon's still out there. Gotsumon lured him away from this spot, but I don't know how long he can keep him away from here." He then held out his hand. "Come on. We need to get you our of here. Dump's not safe."

With a nod, Cassy grabbed hold of her brother's hand. Keeping a tight grip on her hand, Tibe began to lead her out of the van.

They reached the van's rear door and Tibe looked around to make sure the coast was clear. He hissed out another NATO curse when he could see Tyrannomon breathing fire on the ground behind several more hills, still trying to roast Gotsumon and possibly Veemon as well. The dinosaur digimon was too close for comfort, so they had to sneak out quietly.

It was then that they suddenly felt the van shift. The rear part of the van suddenly tipped downward. Acting purely on instinct, Tibe grabbed his sister and leapt out of the van, Cassy yelping out in shock and surprise as they fell ten feet and landed on an old, mildew-infested mattress before the van slid down the mountain of trash all the way to the bottom in a crash.

…..

Tyrannomon immediately stopped his Blaze Blast attack at the sound of hearing Cassy's startled cry and of junk crashing. He jerked his head in the direction the sounds came from and saw Tibe and Cassy out in the open.

Realizing that a couple of humans were easier snacks than a couple of rookie digimon, Tyrannomon gave up his hunt for Gotsumon and Veemon and charged at the Peterson siblings. "Oh fuck, that's not good." Jack commented as he, Veemon and Gotsumon took off after the monster.

….

Cassy started screaming as she panicked at the sight of a man-eating dinosaur closing in fast. Tibe was frantically looking around, trying to find a way to avoid the hungry death that was charging towards him. He spied what looked like an old shark cage directly below them. Good enough. He hopped in with his sister in his arms and closed the lid above them. Tyrannomon reached them and gnashed his claws and teeth against the cage's bars to no avail.

….

"Tibe!" Gotsumon yelled as he picked up pacing, easily running faster than Jack or Veemon.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!" Jack panted as he tried to keep up with the surprisingly fast stone digimon. Gotsumon ran over to an old trampoline and used it launch himself at the giant digimon, landing on top of his head. He then proceeded to beat his fists into the dinosaur's skull.

With a snarl, Tyrannomon grabbed Gostsumon and threw him to the side like a rag doll before resuming trying to open the food-filled cage before him. The ore digimon hit the ground hard, leaving him stunned for a second. He then growled as he got up, spitting out some dust and gravel, the blood equivalent of his species. "Hold on, Tibe! I'm coming!" he yelled as he charged at Tyrannomon again.

…..

Tibe continued to hold Cassy close as Tyrannomon gnawed on the cage. He was slowly starting to crush the cage with his massive jaw strength. Tibe could look right up the dinosaur's throat and smell his foul breath. Cassy was scared beyond screaming, simply clutching onto Tibe and whimpering into his shoulder, silently begging Tibe, Jimmy, God, anyone to help her.

Suddenly, a shining light pierced through Tibe's pocket, a light so bright that it blinded Tyrannomon, making the dinosaur relent his assault as he tightly shut his eyes. Tibe reached into the pocket and saw that it was the screen of his digivice that was glowing so bright.

Gotsumon kept charging forward, seemingly growing faster with each second. He didn't even seem to notice that he was glowing.

….

**DIGIVOLUTION INITIATED**

_Gotsumon digivolve to…._

REWRITING SKELETAL STRUCTURE

REINFORCING SKIN MATRIX

INSTALLING VOLCANIC DRIVE

ATTACHING CODENAME: LANCE PROTOCOLS

**MONOCHROMON!**

….

Monochromon roared in fury as he charged at Tyrannomon. Surprised by the charge, Tyrannomon caught the cerotopsian digimon's horn, but this simply locked the two of them in a shoving match; a shoving match that Monochromon eventually won by pushing the tyrannosaur away from his tamer.

….

**MONOCHROMON**

**データの種類**

**チャンピオンレベル**

**スペシャルアタック****- ****火山ストライク**

**Oh my God! Gotsumon digivolved into Monochromon! NO ONE COULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING! Monochromon is a hardy digimon with skin harder than diamonds and a horn that can impale an eighteen-wheel semi! He's normally a very laid-back digimon, but when he gets angry, his Volcanic Strike attack is truly something to be feared!**

….

Once Monochromon felt that he had pushed Tyrannomon far back enough, he relented and pulled back. As the ceratopsian digimon backed up, flames started licking at his lips as a fire of his own gathered in his mouth.

**VOLCANIC STRIKE!**

Monochromon opened his mouth, firing a volley of fireballs at Tyrannomon, all of which exploded upon impacting against Tyrannomon's chest and belly. The tyrannosaur desperately slapped his torso, trying to pat the numerous fires on his scales out.

As Veemon ran up to where Tibe and Cassy were, Jack just stood there and stared dumbly at the two dueling dinos for a moment. He then looked up at Tibe with a shocked look in his eyes.

"GOTSUMON TURNED INTO A GODDAMN DINOSAUR!" Jack shouted as he pointed a finger at Monochromon. He then accusingly pointed at Tibe. "YOU DIDN'T MENTION THAT HE COULD TURN INTO A GODDAMN DINOSAUR!"

"I DIDN'T KNOW HE COULD DO THAT!" Tibe shouted back. "SWEAR TO GOD, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IT'S HAPPENED!"

As Veemon climbed up the garbage pile to get Tibe and Cassy out from the cage, Jimmy was jumping up and down beside Jack, cheering. "THIS IS FRIGGIN' AWESOME!"

"WHY?!" Jack demanded. "WHY IS THIS AWESOME?!"

"HE DIGIVOLVED, JACK!" Jimmy shouted in reply. "GOTSUMON DIGIVOLVED AND IT WAS AWESOME!"

"DIGIVOLVED?! THE FUCK IS THAT?!" Jack demanded.

"WHAT'S ALL THE YELLING ABOUT?!" Veemon yelled down at Jack while he was trying to pry the cage's lid open.

"You okay?" Tibe asked Cassy. Cassy only nodded in response as she wiped away some tears. "Okay." he said as Veemon finally pried the cage's lid open. Tibe climbed out, helped Cassy out, and then made their way back down the massive garbage pile. The group looked on as Monochromon and Tyrannomon did battle.

"….So…..what?" Jack asked. "I mean, do we go over there and….help?"

"Well, _we _can't really do that." Jimmy said before handing his cards to Tibe. "But Tibe here can."

"Say what?" Tibe asked.

"Monochromon is still your partner, and you're still his tamer." Jimmy stated matter-of-factly. "That hasn't changed."

Tibe looked confused for another second, then nodded and took the cards as his face turned serious. "Get her out of here." he ordered Jimmy before running off to help his partner digimon.

"Can doOOMPH!" Jimmy replied as Cassy leapt into Jimmy's arms bridal style.

"Carry me out, boyfriend!" Cassy demanded.

"I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!" Jimmy yelped.

…

**VOLCANIC STRIKE!**

Monochromon launched another volley of fireballs directly at Tyrannomon. The theropod roared in indignation as fire gathered in his mouth.

**BLAZE BLAST!**

The blast of flame was powerful enough to make Monochromon back off a little. The cerotopsian snarled at the predator. Tibe ran up to his partner. "Don't worry Gots- uh - Monochromon! I got your back!" he yelled before slashing a card through his digivice.

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**SPEED ACTIVATE!**

Monochromon lowered his head and charged at Tyrannonmon, moving far faster than a digimon his size should.

**SLAMMING ATTACK!**

A sickening squelching sound was heard as Monochromon's horn pierced Tyrannomon's belly. The tyrannosaur's face was frozen in a silent scream, his whole body suddenly freezing up. Monochromon pulled his horn from the predator's belly, only for gallons of blood to spill from the wound. Tyrannomon fell to his knees and held his claws to his stomach, trying to keep the blood in.

Monochromon backed off a little and roared at his opponent. "Alright, let's finish 'em off!" Tibe yelled as he slashed another card.

**DIGI-MODIFICATION:**

**POWER ACTIVATE!**

Monochromon opened his mouth and launched his final onslaught. "Aim right for his gut!" Tibe commanded.

**VOLCANIC STRIKE!**

Thanks to Tibe's digi-modification, Monochromon's fireballs were now even larger and more powerful than before. Monochromon aimed right for Tyrannomon's belly as per his tamer's orders, hitting the enemy dinosaur right where he had been previously gored. The attack was simply too much. In the raging storm of fire and smoke, Tyrannomon disintegrated into bits of data. When the smoke cleared, there was nothing left. Not even the blood that had been pooling at the tyrannosaur's feet.

"Booyah!" Tibe cheered in triumph. He ran up to his partner. "That was the shit!"

"It was?" Monochromon rumbled as he turned toward his tamer. Jack and Veemon rushed up next to Tibe.

"Yeah." Jack replied. "That was actually pretty fucking metal."

"Alright! I'm metal!" Monochromon boomed.

"…..Soooo…is this permanent?" Tibe asked. "Cuz, you're gonna be a _lot _harder to hide in my room now."

As if on cue, Monochromon was wrapped in a yellow light. Eventually, he turned into a glowing yellow silhouette. Oddly, the glow wasn't bright enough to blind Jack or Tibe, unlike every other light that has been associated with digimon thus far. The silhouette began to shrink until a certain size, then the glowing stopped. Standing before them now was Gotsumon, perfectly back to normal.

"Oh cool. You turn back when you're done." Tibe observed with a smile.

Gotsumon then fell flat on his back.

"Gotsumon!" Tibe yelped as he rushed to his partner's side. "You okay, buddy?"

"I'm sleepy…." Gotsumon muttered in a tired voice.

Tibe sighed with relief. "Come on, buddy. Let's haul your rocky ass over to the couch."

"We're gonna need to find a different couch." Jack pointed out. "Tyrannomon ate the old one."

….

With the fight over, Tibe had allowed Cassy back into the dump. The little girl put a blanket on Gotsumon after the little rock digimon promptly crashed on a new couch that Jack had found and ordered Veemon to drag back to where the other couch used to be. Within moments, Gotsumon was fast asleep on the new mildew-infested couch. Cassy then fell asleep on the couch herself next to Gotsumon. Tibe didn't disturb her. After what she's just been through, he figured she needed the rest.

Tibe, Jack, Jimmy and Veemon were all sitting in detached car seats that were embedded in another mountain of trash and junk. Jimmy had just begun explaining digivolution to the two tamers.

"So, our digimon can change forms?" Tibe asked.

"Yup!" Jimmy replied. "It's called digivolution, wherein a digimon can change into a more powerful form. It's a complex process, the exact mechanics of it varying between continuities in the digimon franchise. But if I had to guess, I would say that we are currently operating by Digimon Adventure rules."

"Which means…?" Tibe asked.

"Gotsumon will digivolve into Monochromon whenever you're in danger. That's what triggered today's digivolution, anyway." Jimmy elaborated. "Also, it was demonstrated several times in the Adventure anime that digimon can't digivolve on an empty stomach, so it's imperative that you keep Gotsumon well fed."

"That shouldn't be a problem." Tibe said. "He eats rocks."

"Excellent!" Jimmy exclaimed. "And as we saw today, the digivolved digimon will usually de-digivolve back into their default forms once the battle is over."

Tibe nodded. He then turned towards the couch on which Gotsumon slept like, well, a rock. "Is Gotsumon gonna be okay?"

"I'm sure he's fine. He's just really tired." Jimmy answered. "It's probably safe to say that digivolution can take a lot out of a digimon, especially on the first time. Hopefully he'll get more used to it the more he does it."

"Hey Jack!" Veemon said to his tamer. "Do you think _I _could digivolve like Gotsumon did?"

"Jimmy, I'm gonna relay this one to you." Jack said, turning to his little brother.

"Definitely!" Jimmy emphatically said. "Veemon _will _digivolve! It's not a matter of if, but when. I mean, after all, you ARE the goggle head of the group, Jack."

"….I'm sorry. I'm the _what_ now?" Jack asked.

Jimmy pointed at the goggles on Jack's forehead. "The goggle head! Ever since Digimon Adventure, it's been the hallmark for the lead tamer to wear goggles! And I must say Jack, your goggles would make Taichi Yagami proud!"

"….Yeah. Jimmy, I wear these goggles all the time when I go out junking." Jack pointed out. "I wear them because I don't want my eyes gouged out by broken glass."

"But what about your gloves and hiking boots? Those SCREAM 'digi-destined.'" Jimmy argued.

"Again, dumpster-diving equipment." Jack countered. "The gloves are to keep my hands from getting cut up, and the boots are for whenever I feel like actually diving _into_ the dumpster."

"Wait." Veemon said. "So all tamers are trash men?"

"…..Shut up, Veemon." Jack deadpanned.

"Okay, moving on." Tibe said. "Jimmy, you said Jack is the 'goggle-head' of the _group. _Whaddya mean by that? Are there other tamers that I need to know about?"

"Must be." Jimmy said with a shrug. "No way you two are the only two tamers in New York City."

"We don't know that for sure." Jack pointed out.

"Oh come on! We've only got two tamers so far!" Jimmy said. "You can't have an anime or manga with just two tamers! You need a _minimum _of four!"

"Jimmy. We've gone over this. This is real life." Jack explained. "This isn't an anime. This isn't a manga. Hell, this isn't even a crappy fanfic over on written by some loser who lives in the Pacific Northwest who writes for the entertainment of a thousand other losers who are actually dumb enough to think his shit is any good."

"I dunno, Jack." Tibe said as he pulled out his digivice and looked at it. "Lines between fantasy and reality are gettin' kinda blurry." He turned to Jimmy. "Okay Jim. You're the digimon expert here. What should our next move be?"

"You know that one nerdy kid from East Harlem that you two are friends with?" Jimmy asked. "You know, the one who's good with computers?"

"Who, Dexter?" Jack asked.

"Yeah! Him!" Jimmy replied. "Obviously, he's going to be the 'Izzy' of your future group, the one with all the answers, so I say we keep ahead of the curve and consult him on this matter!"

"Yeah, Dexter's not a digimon otaku like you are, Jimmy." Jack pointed out. "He might be a little out of his league here."

"I dunno, Jack." Tibe replied. "Dexter's a whiz with computers. And if the term 'digital monster' is anything to go on, I'd say a computer expert might be just what we need right now."

Jack sighed in defeat. "I don't believe this. Alright. We were gonna meet up with Jessica at the airport tomorrow anyway. So here's the plan; after we pick her up, we head down to Dex's place. And even though it'll probably freak him the fuck out, we'll bring Veemon and Gotsumon with us so he actually believes us."

"How?" Jimmy asked.

"Jessica's parents already rented a limo for her. I figured we'd stuff 'em both in the trunk." Jack answered.

"We gonna let Jessica in on this too?" Tibe asked.

"Might as well." Jack replied with a shrug. "She's probably gonna find out sooner or later."

"Especially if it turns out that she's a tamer too!" Jimmy cheerfully argued. "I wonder what kind of partner digimon Jessica and Dexter will have?"

"Jessica and Dexter are _not _tamers." Jack said.

"Well, maybe not right now, but maybe they're like Kazu and Kenta?" Jimmy suggested. "Like, they're not tamers yet, but they'll get their partner digimon during our future adventures in the digital world."

"….Right. I was gonna wait until we get home to do this, but you twisted my arm." Jack said as reached down to one of his boots and pulled out completely one of the laces. He then proceeded to loop the lace around Jimmy's neck and pulled back, using it as a makeshift garrote.

"Should we stop him?" Veemon asked as he noticed Jimmy's face turning blue and gasping for breath.

"Nah. This is just how Jack displays affection." Tibe explained.

"Oooooh. Okay. That makes sense." Veemon said with a nod of understanding. "Jack was expressing his affection for me just this morning!"

….

**Is Jimmy right? Are there other tamers somewhere in New York City? Of course there are! If you didn't think there would be, then you **_**really**_** don't know this franchise very well, do you?**

**Tune in for the next DIGIDORKS: DIGITAL LOSERS!**


End file.
